


Kaleid Liner Stardust Illya!

by Dr_Megamind



Series: Illya’s Prismatic Disaster [1]
Category: Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ILLYA, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Everyone is traumatized, From Fanfiction.com, Gen, In a manner of speaking, Other, Semi-Canon Compliant, So very traumatized
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-05-02 14:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14546604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Megamind/pseuds/Dr_Megamind
Summary: In classic Illya fashion, and for the third time, Illya crosses the borders of one world into another and at this point, it's not a matter of what could possibly go wrong- it's a wonder if nothing does. Especially when overly tall people with bodybuilder fetishes and a tendency to punch everything are involved.Ruby being Ruby doesn't really help either.





	1. Minutes To Midnight Pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story is written by me and SuperNova23 ( u/2817228/SuperNova23), so go check out his stories as well!  
> Edit: This story is also on FF.net, in the crossover section. 
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own the Fate franchise or the JoJo one. Although it'd be nice to swim in money pools all day long.
> 
> A/N 2: Spoiler alert for the Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya Drei Manga, up to chapter 45 for this chapter only. We tried to keep them down to a minimum, but... :)

_To think that Miyu and Shirou-san had to go through all of this…_

Illya twisted uncomfortably in her bed, trying not to wake Kuro up. She knew that the other girl was just as exhausted as she was, if not more and needed as much rest. After all, despite their best efforts the Ainsworths had escaped all but unscathed, with the exception of Angelica. While Illya wouldn't trust the blond any further than she could throw her, the white-haired kid couldn't help but feel some pity for the older woman. Learning the true nature of their enemy, both of them, was making a complicated decision even worse.

_Save the world, save Miyu, save Julian. That is a list that keeps growing longer and longer._

She recalled what Angelica had said regarding her own transformation into a Doll. _Angelica Ainsworth._ The user of one of the two strongest Heroic Spirits was currently their captive, the dangerous Card she had used as her weapon gone and in the hands of what could be considered an even wilder card.

Her thoughts turning on the red-eyed boy, Illya felt her hands ball into fists. _He abandoned us. I knew his objective was his Card, but he could have at least said good-bye. He fought with us._ While she knew that the strange boy was by no means a friend, she had still considered him a comrade. Not only had Gil-kun saved Tanaka and her from the clutches of that crazy, mapo-obsessed man, he had even bought clothes to shield them from the cold too. He had helped them take back Miyu and Shirou-san. Illya just couldn't wrap her head around his… his _betrayal._

And then there was Tanaka. Tanaka-san was clearly not just an amnesiac girl. Illya was doubting even the fact that she was human at all. _And that hand._ Even as she lay in bed, she made a grimace. _That silly Tanaka-san!_

As each thought led to another, Illya eventually decided that sleep wasn't something she would get at her current state of mind. The entire situation was overwhelming, even impossible if she had to sit and think it through logically, but if she faltered now, then she would return to being wishy-washy Illya. She would let down her friend and her sister and everyone else who had believed in her.

With a sigh, the albino threw the sheet off of herself. _A warm glass of milk may help._ Careful not to alarm her sister, Illya got off the bed, put on her borrowed slippers and exited the room. She wasn't familiar with the layout of Miyu's home yet, but she managed to eventually find the kitchen. She took out some milk from the fridge, however, checking the expiration date on the cart she huffed in frustration. _I imagine grocery shopping isn't a priority when you are a prisoner. I guess tea will do._

"Who's there?" a sharp demand came from behind her, startling the white-haired girl. "Turn around and don- oh, Illya. Why are you still up?"

_Don't act like you didn't just scare me out of my pajamas!_ "H-hey Rin-san! I couldn't sleep so I thought to make some tea." Illya explained. "Why are you up?" she added as an after-thought.

"Same as you, I suppose. Come, I have some tea ready outside." Rin offered as she reached for a second cup.

Illya nodded and followed the brunette. They sat in the backyard, drinking tea and looking at the sky for some time, neither willing to break the comfortable silence. As Illya reached for a second refill however, Rin decided to speak up.

"Illya. Do you remember where you entered this world?"

"Eh? Ah, I think it was within the woods. But, I am not sure about getting back there Rin-san. I was cold and alone and I can't say I was paying too much attention."

"Even so, you must try. Assuming that the rift created by that sword isn't closed completely, we need to gather some data on it and study it. After all, we can't stay in this world forever."

_That's right. I bet Mama and Papa and onii-chan and Sella and Lizz… I'm sure they are all worried sick._ Illya felt tears welling up at the thought of her family, but she forced them back, remembering Kuro's warning. _This is no time for me to be wishy-washy Illya. I promised I'd save Miyu and the world and I can't be a cry-baby anymore. Speaking of which…_

"Say, Rin-san. How did you and Luvia-san end up as maids?"

"E-eh?" the magus was clearly caught by surprise and her expression quickly turned sour. "W-well, neither I nor that rich bimbo seem to be able to recall anything. I imagine that either the brainwashing has affected our short-term memory, but seeing as that isn't the case with you, maybe we were simply caught and our minds over-written before we could put up a fight."

"Oh, I see." _What on Earth is a short-term memory? Speak Japanese!_

"Either way, Illya, you and I will tomorrow go to the great cavern. I am not certain about the safety of doing so, but you seemed to reach the city without any problems. So, I want you to try and back-track, if possible."

"But what if I can't? You can't expect me to do something like that, besides isn't it dangerous to go out?"

Rin turned to smile at Illya. "Surely, my best pupil isn't going to chicken out?"

The recipient of Rin Tohsaka's so-called smile, broke in a cold sweat. _Say something! She may attack!_ "S-sure Rin-san! You can absolutely count on me!" _Why? Why must it be me?_

"Good. Now, it is time for you to go to sleep. We will go out immediately after dinner tomorrow and I don't need you dead on your feet. Also, you will take a Card with you. I don't believe that the Ainsworths will attempt anything so early after their defeat, but we must be prepared- don't make that face. Even if it doesn't feel like one, we took back Miyu and all of us are alive and well. After witnessing the sort of power Julian Ainsworth has at his disposal, it was the best we could hope for in our current state."

_Then why does it feel like things just got worse?_ "Right. Goodnight Rin-san."

"Goodnight."

Illya got up to leave the yard, already feeling a bit sleepy. And she had to be well-rested for tomorrow's mission. She wanted to have faith in Rin-san, truly, however experience had taught her to never have faith in Rin-san's words. She somehow seemed to mess up things at the most crucial moment- case in point, getting her involved at the whole Card mess in the first place.

"Say, Illya?"

"Hm?" the albino turned to look at the brunette, who remained gazing at the moon.

"You and Kuro get along fine, right?" she inquired. Illya hadn't heard Rin use such a serious voice outside the battlefield. _What's on Rin-san's mind…?_

"I guess so… why?"

"Even though she thinks you did her wrong, right? But you still managed to get along."

Illya blinked. "Well, yeah. I suppose it took a while, but… yeah. We managed to get along. We are sisters now."

"I see. Well, talk to you in the morning."

This time, as Illya got comfortable under the blanket, sleep came much faster than she would have thought.

* * *

"Illya! Hey, Illya, wake up! Dinner is ready!"

"Go away!"

"Hmph. Fine. Stay hungry. See if I care."

Kuro purposely shut the door loudly as she left the room. _That slouch. Not my problem if she is dead on her feet all night._

She was back in her normal outfit, although she had taken extra care with her hair after she woke up that evening, putting them up into twin braids at each side of her head. _See if onii-chan prefers them that way._ A devious smile appeared on her face, intent on discovering just how far she could push this version of her precious onii-chan before some member of the current female population in the house tried to castrate him. Sella's supervision made things too easy sometimes. Her own onii-chan was just _so easy_ to tease and get him in trouble that the whole thing was losing its novelty. _Not enough to stop though. Let's see what this Parallel World Onii-chan is made of._

Entering the kitchen she took note of the fact that Tanaka seemed to be already fed, if the fact that she was loudly snoring with her face inside a bowl was any indication. Rin and Luvia were also up and looking all roughed up, leaving no doubts that the idiot duo had lost no time in getting themselves in a fight. Bazett was also present, the only one calmly eating, while Miyu and Shirou were still working in the kitchen. She noted the Doll was absent from the table all together and she hadn't seen her in the hallway.

"Good evening everyone!"

A chorus of replies in various tones greeted her back and she took a seat. There were already a few plates before her, so she served herself some rice and a bit of the omelet. Bazett offered to pour her some tea and Kuro began munching down on her food, for a while completely focused on the delicious taste. It was even better than what her own onii-chan made, let alone Sella's cooking.

"Kuro? Where is Illya?" Rin asked, sipping her tea.

"Still sleeping. I tried to wake her up but that numbskull just pushed me away." she explained and took another bite. "This is really good, Shirou-san!"

"Huh? Uh, thank you. You can have seconds if you'd like." Shirou called from the kitchen.

"Don't mind if I do!"

Truth be told, Kuro was really, really low on mana, but so was Illya. Normally, she would have gone right ahead for the usual win-win: replenish her mana reserves as well as watch Illya's face have the usual ridiculous expression of abject terror. Today though she had looked especially drained, so Kuro decided to be gracious to her younger sister for once and postpone it for later. Which meant that, until then, she had to stuff her face with food and get as much as she could out of it.

As she helped herself to the third serving of food, Miyu and Shirou brought in extra rice, tea and coffee, as well as a big amount of udon and several small sausages. Briefly wondering if someone had gone grocery shopping before she woke up, she then shrugged and attacked the extra food with as much appetite as when she first sat down. For a while, the only sound was that of people eating and Tanaka snoring. Miyu had tried waking her up when she took a seat, however clearly the airheaded girl wasn't going to wake up if she didn't feel like it, or if the moment wasn't dramatic enough for her to ruin. Illya entered shortly after and dug in without losing any time, Ruby flying around her head.

After everyone was done, Luvia cleared her throat, drawing everyone's attention on herself, before placing something on the table. Leaning closer she saw, to her surprise, two Class Cards: Rider and Saber.

"Eh? What is this, Luvia-san?" Illya asked, alarmed.

"Tohsaka and I found these within the pockets of our maid costumes." Luvia explained, disdain clear in her voice. Kuro suppressed a chuckle at the busty blond's… _accident_ the previous day. "They are different from the Cards that Illya holds. We assumed they were given to our brainwashed selves to use as a last resort in case of battle. We also have a few spare Noble Phantasm Cards, which we decided not to use and safe-guard for future battles."

"By which you mean you have no idea how to Include them without the sticks now that you are no longer dolls. Is that right?" Kuro corrected her with a smirk. Luvia's death glare was enough of an answer to that.

"It could be that they are worthless." Shirou spoke up. "The Card Sakura gave to me was also just a failed Card. The fact that I managed to link it to that Heroic Spirit was pure coincidence. Maybe this is the case here as well."

"Yes, it is possible." Rin nodded. "And the Cards are certainly precious enough that the Ainsworths couldn't risk giving them to two brainless dolls. We assumed that they had some measure of success but they were not properly linked to a Heroic Spirit, which would make them a watered down version of one."

"Maybe that doll outside can provide us with some insight." Luvia concluded. Shirou seemed hesitant.

"I am not sure she would turn on her master. Angelica may consider herself discarded, but her loyalties lie with the Ainsworths."

"Even taking that into consideration," Bazett cut in, "the Cards are now in our possession and Illya and Miyu can Install them. There would be no point in not sharing her knowledge of those two Cards specifically."

"I guess so…" the redhead conceded, but didn't seem convinced. "I will talk to her, but don't expect results."

"I can come with you Shirou-san." Kuro offered. "She may try something. She may even have a few spare Cards on her we don't know about."

"She doesn't."

"Oh?" the grin spreading on Kuro's face was a sure sign that this was going to be awkward. _He walked right into that one!_ "And you would know that how exactly Shirou-san? A full-body search perhaps? Angelica is a beautiful woman after all and you are just a guy…"

The boy's face instantly became flushed. "W-what? Don't say such things!"

"But she is right." Rin chimed in. "You sound very sure that she is not hiding something."

"Could it be that you are _that_ kind of guy? I am disappointed in you, Shero."

"P-please, stop making assumptions!"

"How could you onii-san…" Miyu looked away from her brother, her eyes empty as the first time she had met Illya.

"Miyu, no! Please, don't lose faith in your big brother! You believe me, right Illya-chan?" Shirou next turned to Illya, in a desperate attempt to regain his pride.

"How could I? My big brother would never do that, but you…"

"You should be ashamed, Emiya." Bazett offered her own two cents.

"Tanaka also thinks that you are scum."

"Oh, _now_ you wake up!"

"It's okay if you have a fetish Shirou-kun, so long as it is consensual~." Ruby added.

"Stop talking like that in front of my little sister!"

"You are not denying it Shirou-sama. Is it not a lie then?" Sapphire demanded from next to Miyu's head. "I cannot allow my master to be under the influence of such an immoral person."

"Indeed. Miyu, as your elder sister, I forbid you to be in the presence of such a man." Luvia ordered.

"What is wrong with you people?!"

Kuro couldn't help but relish in onii-chan's awkwardness. _It seems like some things can never change…_

Her malicious entertainment was interrupted however by the sound of the kitchen door sliding open and in came the object of Parallel Onii-chan's current trouble. "Angelica! Thank God! Please, tell them I didn't do anything indecent to you!"

The Doll regarded him coolly. "Why should I lie?"

"Eh? What are you talking about?"

"Surely you cannot expect me to be forced into such an indecent garb, have my own clothes taken and still offer something in your defense."

Kuro noticed that Angelica had been given what she could only assume to be Shirou's clothes to accommodate her… assets _–how can this woman fight with those!-_ but still, the shirt was too tight and the shorts revealed as much leg as an average Rin skirt.

"But-but-but I- I just- _why are you doing this to me_!"

The blond pointedly ignored Shirou, who had curled into a ball of obvious misery and sat down at the opposite head of the table, clearly not affected by the suddenly tense atmosphere. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I am not going to fight on your side. However, I cannot allow the pride of the Ainsworths to be tarnished by allowing you to think this is something we consider a proper weapon, even for our maids."

" _We are not your maids you big-breasted, pig-tailed little-"_

"My, my, Rin Tohsaka! How disgraceful of you to so openly admit your sense of inadequacy in front of others. So inelegant…"

" _Don't screw with me you stupid bimbo!"_

" _Ooooohohoho!"_

_Some things really never change…_

If Angelica was perplexed by that show of idiocy from the other two, she did not comment on it. "Those Cards are failures. During the process of creating the Class Cards, it is understandable that a degree of magic as high as that did not succeed at the first try. Through some terrible error in judgment, Beatrice was tasked with disposing of the failures. Eventually, it was revealed that she simply threw them away wherever she was standing. As such, the maids were given the mission of locating and eliminating them. I do not believe them usable. However," here she paused and shifted her gaze at Shirou's sobbing form, "we thought the same of the Card he used to win the previous Grail War."

"So what you are saying is that we should try to Install and see if we can link them to a Heroic Spirit?" Rin clarified.

" _How could you believe such things for your big brother?"_

"No. The Faker was a special occasion that could not possibly be foreseen. These Cards should simply be discarded immediately. Even if you did manage to link them to anything, it would be a failed version of a Heroic Spirit, with the resulting manifestation being either worthless or dangerous."

"I see." Luvia nodded, putting a hand under her chin. "Even so, we will keep the Cards for further experimentation." She concluded, which elicited an agreement from Rin and Bazzett. "And now, on to other things. Tohsaka. When will you leave for the Great Cavern?"

"Once dinner is cleared. I will only take Illya to avoid getting any unwanted attention, but we will also be prepared for trouble. Speaking of which," she turned to Illya, "you and Miyu should decide which Cards to keep. So long as you two are the only ones capable of performing an Installation, you should never be caught without a Card on your person."

"Wait a second!" Kuro cut in. "I will come with you as well! If that crazy one attacks again, Illya cannot fight her on her own!"

"Kuro has a point." Miyu agreed.

"It will be alright. After all, if they do attack, Luvia and I won't be of any use without gems… and Emiya-kun is still weak. You cannot fight them alone either, Miyu, and we cannot afford to be without a base of operations."

Kuro gritted her teeth. She understood where Rin came from, but she just had a bad feeling about this. "At least take Bazett with you." she suggested.

"Yes, I could offer sufficient protection."

Rin seemed to be considering it for a while. "Very well then. You two go get ready, we are leaving as soon as possible."

The two other members of the team nodded and stood. Kuro and Miyu stayed behind to clean up the table and finish the dishes, seeing as Shirou was currently experiencing a mental break-down. _Really, this Parallel Onii-chan is no good at all…_

* * *

Illya put on her coat and patted it down to fix the wrinkles. Briefly, she wondered if Gil-kun could now be considered an enemy. That would be bad.

Shaking her head, as if to clear it of such thoughts, she picked up the Deck and chose a few Cards to take with her on the mission. After a lot of thought, she concluded on taking three of them and one of the extra Cards.

Rider.

Saber.

Assassin.

And the unknown Rider.

She was hesitant to take two of their stronger Cards, but this mission was dangerous. Besides, Lancer was also very strong and Berserker was untested as of yet. She was taking a risk but it wasn't that bad. Additionally, Miyu would have Kuro and Shirou-san as back-up, if need arose, so she should get as much protection as she could with her.

_After all, Rin-san said that it was unlikely something could go wrong…_

The feeling of unease only seemed to be intensifying. With a sigh, Illya returned to the kitchen and gave the Cards to Miyu. As she made to leave however, Kuro grabbed her wrist tightly.

"Don't go like that. Change into Magical Girl form." She ordered, her tone leaving no room for questions.

"Eh? Is something the matter, Kuro?"

"Just humor me. I don't like this idea in the least. Just go into your default mode and don't change back until you are back inside."

Illya opened her mouth to protest – _it was cold outside!-_ but the look on Kuro's face, along with her own feelings of unease, gave her pause. "Alright then." she promised. "Let's go Ruby."

"Yep, yep! I am right here~"

Illya gave a last wave towards her sister and friend and went ahead to meet with Rin and Bazzett.

"Let's go."


	2. Minutes to Midnight Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second (and last) part of the prologue! Let us officially break the fabric of reality, because it's what we do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is written by SuperNova23 ( u/2817228/SuperNova23) and I , so go check out his stories as well!
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own the Fate franchise or the JoJo one. Which should have been obvious because otherwise this would totally be canon.

_Why, why did I have to listen to Kuro! It's cold and this stupid outfit isn't exactly cold proof!_ "Ruby, can't I at least wear my coat? I am cold!"

"Illya-san, you are well aware that a coat would tarnish your Magical Girl image! Everyone knows that an outfit that leaves just enough to the imagination is a trademark of a proper Magical Girl! I will not let you compromise that because of a little cold!"

"But Ruby! I will get sick!"

"Oh, don't be such a child…"

"I _am_ a child!"

"Will you two shut up? You keep this up, the enemy won't need to look to find us!" Rin snapped at them, her annoyance clear.

"Sorry Rin-san…"

As they reached the city limits and entered the woods, the albino felt a shiver run down her spine. It wasn't that she was afraid, it was simply that the forest was eerily silent. No birds, no animals, just the left-over snow and the unnatural stillness. Even the trees looked dead and the darkness surrounding them wasn't particularly helping soothe her fears. Unconsciously, Illya began walking closer to Bazett.

The walk to the cavern was unusually long and quiet. There was an aura of paranoia hanging above the trio- the short-haired Enforcer seemed to be prepared to pounce onto the first sign of danger, rip its limbs off and beat it to death with them, while Rin kept jumping at the slightest sound. Illya herself simply regretted ever going along with Rin's crazy plans.

Alright, maybe Rin's plan wasn't crazy at all. From what Illya had gathered, with Gilgamesh gone, they had no way of tearing through this world and onto the one they had come from. Ruby and Sapphire could only transport them to a Mirror version of the world they were currently in, as far as she knew, so managing to get to the rift and gathering whatever information needed to replicate it was crucial.

And yet she'd much rather be home and have some home-made cocoa. _So sue me._

"Rin."

"Hm?"

"What type of data do you plan on gathering exactly? I imagine that if the rift isn't already closed, it cannot possibly be capable of transfer."

"Bazett-san is right! And we cannot replicate the rift without enough mana or the same power that created it and we have neither! Surely, an old hag like you hasn't forgotten that~"

Rin inhaled sharply. "Shut up! Who do you think you are calling an old hag you ridiculous, overbearing little pest?"

"My, my Rin, you are just like a violent ape, aren't you? This is why Illya-san is such a great Master!"

Fumes were coming out of Rin-san's ears and despite her eyes being covered by her bangs, Illya knew exactly how this would play out. "I'll show you violent!"

"Enough!"

_Even Bazett-san can be such a muscle head sometimes…._ Illya thought with a drop of sweat running down the side of her face. Bazett had restored order by chopping at the heads of the two fighting comrades, with enough strength for even Ruby to get a bump.

"Focus on the mission up ahead. We cannot afford to be caught off guard, so unless you plan to remain vigilant, we should call the mission off and return to base."

"Tell that to her!" both of the accused yelled, pointing at the other. Bazett raised her hand threateningly, which made both Rin and Ruby huff in annoyance but stay silent.

After that small episode, no one talked until they reached the Great Cavern.

* * *

Rin Tohsaka stopped a few meters away from the invisible limit. It wasn't an absolute line, but calculation by approach was the best they had right now.

Luvia and she had stayed up late the previous night, recalling the events before the battle and assessing the situation. They were extremely low on gems, the only asset worth mentioning being her father's pendant. The two magi had transferred a generous amount of mana inside of it in hopes of preventing a second scenario of the two of them being of no use in a fight. It couldn't possibly compare to the amount previously stored, but if they had learned anything in this world, it was that the tiniest advantage could make the greatest difference. It wouldn't be much use, but at least they would be able to offer more support than they had in the previous day's fight.

Rin bit the inside of her cheek.

It wasn't only that she was placing her faith in Illya- that wasn't something new. No, what she and Luvia had done, placing a burden too heavy for anyone on the shoulders of two children, that was bothering her. It wounded her pride and she suspected her nemesis felt the same. Even more so after yesterday.

_Useless. We were utterly useless._

The Ainsworths had taken their pride and their gems. They had made this personal.

_And he took my… No. Not now._

Slapping her cheeks with both hands to get a grip, Rin pulled out the small bracelet from her pocket.

It was something that she'd expect Luvia to have on. A teardrop-shaped small sapphire, encased in silver with a matching chain on it. Small, delicate, elegant, ridiculously expensive. And in this situation, very much needed. It had no mana of any significant worth, but if her own magic was added, it would be suitable. She wasn't certain why the Ainsworths didn't confiscate that bracelet along with every other gem they had in their possession when they were captured, but now it didn't matter very much.

A few feet away from her current position was the crater created by the battle between Illya and the eighth Heroic Spirit, with the marks of that battle still visible. She contemplated entering the cavern to search for any potential signs that someone from the other side may have left for them- she knew that the Church was keeping an eye out for any further disturbances and she assumed that their entering and never exiting to have been already reported by the creepy Sister. That and Bazett was a highly-valued operative of the Association. Her disappearance would certainly cause some heads to turn towards Fuyuki.

She pulled from her borrowed bag a square-shaped piece of fabric with small strings sewn in each corner. "Bazett. I need you to bring me four relatively thin sticks, about my height." she requested as she dropped on her knees and began drawing the formula with her finger on the ground. "Illya, be on guard."

"Yes!"

The amount of risk involved should be minimum, seeing as Julian Ainsworth had lost the Doll user of the Class Card Gilgamesh, the Class Card itself and Miyu. He currently had one Doll at his possession, which she assumed he wouldn't allow away from his side until he was ready to make his next move. Still, she couldn't depend on the Ainsworths licking their wounds and not investigating any small flaring of magical energy released.

She wasn't done drawing when Bazett returned with the wood, so she ordered her to put them beside her and stand by. The short-haired woman nodded her consent and stood on the opposite side of Rin, covering for any blind spots on Illya's part. When the Circle was finished to her satisfaction, she shoved the sticks in a square around the circle and tied the fabric in the middle, right above her formula.

_Perfect._

"Bazett, Illya." she said sharply, calling for their attention. "I am about to begin. This shouldn't take long, but be on guard."

"Got it Rin-san!"

"Understood."

She focused back on the fabric and raised the bracelet above it. _Please work._

"- Anfang!

Beantworten Sie die Forderung des Abgeordneten

Boden: zur Strömung

Strömung: zum Blut

Blut: zum Pergament –

Abschrift!"

To her immense relief, the gem in her hands gave a bright white light as it released the magical energy within it and her eyes looked anxiously over the shape the white fires would give.

As the flames went down, her shoulders relaxed.

"It looks like we have some waiting to do."

"What do you mean?" Bazett demanded.

"It looks that this particular cavern is the one belonging to our world, however there appears to be something wrong. I am not sure as to why, but it seems like even as it is right there, the cavern is constantly switching." she explained, untying the fabric and showing it to the Enforcer. The lines depicted there were not only slightly out of place, but some of those lines were half-way cut and seemingly replaced with either thinner or thicker pulsations and in one case, the line was entirely cut from the center. "That arrogant sow and I made some calculations yesterday night regarding the switches occurring. While we were back at our own world, it went back and forth at a rate of approximately four minutes, maybe three and a half. We have been here for…" she stopped and made a quick count in her head, "about four days in total. It seems that in Illya's case, the transportation affected time as well."

"Indeed." Bazett affirmed. "Kuro and I arrived about two days before we found Illyasviel, Tanaka and the Heroic Spirit Gilgamesh running away-"

"Strategically retreating!"

"-from the crater in the city." she concluded, as if Illya had not spoken at all.

Stifling a giggle at her pupil's hurt expression, the brunette went on with her explanation. "Well, either way, it appears that a rift such as this should have been mostly, if not entirely closed by now. At the very least that would have been the case in a world with a natural flow of mana. But as things stand in this one, the rift is not only still active for the biggest part, it is also completely out of whack."

"Yep, the old hag seems to be right." Ruby cut in from Illya's hand. "Rifts between worlds are a rarity under normal circumstances. However, this is a unique case. When Shirou-kun wished Miyu-san free, the Grail granted his wish by tearing this world's seams and pulling her to ours, along with the Class Cards. The Cards got trapped in the boundary however and that rift was closed. That said, places that have been torn in such a manner are always slightly weaker compared to how they used to be. After Gil-kun and Illya-san clashed in that same place with such high-density forces, it was easy for the repaired "curtain" to be torn once more, this time in an abnormally larger scale. "

"The stick's got a point. Normally, such irregularities are handled by the World itself, being immediately seen as a threat and mended automatically. It should have been the case here as well. My theory is that the mechanism is activated, but that the fact that the mana required for such a repair cannot be properly channeled anymore is causing the rift to become unstable."

"In other words, you are saying it is unusable. Is that right? Rin Tohsaka."

Rin lowered her head. "It is a possibility. The fact that I cannot conduct this measurement properly is a problem, seeing as entering the cavern unprepared could have serious repercussions." She folded the fabric carefully and put it inside the bag. "But this isn't an entirely wasted effort. For one, we now know that the Tohsakas are still the family that owns the administrator rights in this world. That means that there is a possible counterpart of mine alive that could be willing to help us." _If they haven't been already killed off, or worse, allied with Julian._ "And lastly, we have the measurements, which we can study more in depth back at base. Even if by approximation, we may be able to get something out of this." Rin pulled out a bento and a thermos of coffee from her bag. "Now, we just need to stay here for a while longer, to count the timing back and forth. I'd say we could use something to keep us going this late at night. How about so-"

_No fair.  
_

One cannot be too profound when Bazzet Fraga McRemitz's fist is coming towards their face.

* * *

_What could possibly go wrong, is that it? Well, clearly,_ everything _can go wrong! Thanks for nothing! "_ Schneiden!"

Ruby released another beam and Illya kicked the ground, trying to gain some altitude and evade the grasping hands below. After all, it was a lot easier to defeat her enemies when she didn't have to worry about them swarming her, something she couldn't say for Bazett.

Illya had to admire the brutal efficiency of her companion. Bazett seemed to be always one step ahead of her attackers, her strengthened hands and feet annihilating her opponents with a single hit, without a moment's hesitation. She had seen her fight before and had felt her strength first hand, but still couldn't help but be enthralled at the raw power the woman was emanating.

_Truly, she is a Berserker woman!_

Kuro's words rang now as true as they had that night they faced Gilgamesh for the first time.

Even so, nothing could change the fact that the short-haired woman was currently fighting a losing battle. Despite her prowess in hand-to-hand combat, there was no escaping that… _army_ , for lack of a better word. Even if Bazett was capable of fighting on the same level as a Heroic Spirit Install, even she had her limits and Illya suspected that she would fall to her enemies' numbers long before they ran out, at the most ideal of circumstances.

Rin wasn't doing any better either. Without gems the brunette was severely weakened in terms of combat, however she did have one advantage over Bazzet's technique; Rin's Gandr shots could be fired in rapid succession and, seeing as these familiars were of no considerable level of strength, they were wildly effective. Sending several grotesque mannequins flying, the twin-tailed teen chanted a short spell that encased several dolls inside a medium-sized Bounted Field. Without missing a bit, she used her magically enhanced legs to dash forward and, grabbing a random puppet, she pressed her hand on its skull, steam rising from her palm and violently pushed it inside the barrier that allowed no one entering to get out.

The marked puppet walked forward shakily for a few seconds before, in Illya's surprise, exploding in tiny pieces and taking out every other puppet within, due to the force of the blast.

And while Illya had to admit that it was impressive, it was also futile. The large number of the flesh and wood familiars would not be easily deterred by the loss of a just a handful of its members.

_It's as if they turned the entire city in their personal army._

Landing next to the Enforcer, Illya send another batch of their attackers flying, only for them to be replaced with twice that number. Even some of the less broken ones stood up once more. Creatures without a head or with missing hands…

"Illyasviel! Concentrate your attacks on their torso! They cannot stand again if they are in pieces!"

"R-right! Maximum output, Schneiden!"

Due to her attack's range it was more efficient in taking out more than one at a time, however it was of little use when the fallen were simply replaced.

_This has to be some kind of joke!_

"What _are_ those things?" she asked as she shot an energy sphere at another that had come too close.

"You heard Shirou-kun's story, didn't you Illya-san?" Ruby replied, unusually serious. "I would assume that such complex constructs didn't succeed on the first try."

Illya felt the blood draining from her face. "You mean… these are…"

Endless dolls were coming out of the woods. Life-sized wooden puppets, most clearly defective in some manner, with the most grotesque of them going as far as having small layers of muscle attached to their otherwise wooden bodies, or even what seemed to be actual body parts. They weren't strong individually, but their numbers gave them an overwhelming advantage.

"Yes. But don't let that become a hindrance Illya-san. Look at them. Clearly, there is nothing left of who they used to be."

"B-but…"

"You heard Shirou-kun." the pink stick repeated. "It is impossible to transfer a consciousness without causing some damage to the ego, usually an extremely extensive one. A defective Doll is one thing, a mindless zombie is another."

_All these people…_ The albino couldn't help but feel enraged at the sight of those mindless drones that stood up even when broken. _The Ainsworths… how could they?_

But there was no time to ponder on the morality of the Dolls' existence when they were about to be swarmed by them.

"Ruby! Can you contact Sapphire? We need help!"

"No, that is impossible in our current situation! I cannot support that mode while fighting and Bazett-san won't be able to protect both you and Rin!"

"You good for nothing wand!"

The battle went on and while the trio clearly had the upper hand in terms of skill, they were losing. Several times already, some puppets had managed to grab hold of them and land a few minor injuries. The real question at this point was how long they would last before they collapsed from exhaustion.

At some point during the fighting, the two mages had found themselves back-to-back, with Illya floating above them, creating barriers and smashing any enemies drawing too close. It wasn't doing much though- for all their best efforts, they were swarmed.

"There is no end to them…" Illya muttered, her voice cracking.

"Illya, listen to me."

"Eh?"

"Are you able to Install?"

"Absolutely not!" Ruby cut in with a tone that didn't leave much room for objections. "Illya-san's body is exhausted! I am still repairing damage she took because of the battle in the Ainsworth lair and her mana hasn't fully replenished itself! She is in absolutely no position-"

"Our only alternative is that we die here!" Bazett countered with a dark look in her eyes, as she punched an attacking doll. The Enforcer's eyes turned into slits as she seemed to momentarily focus fully on the albino. "And I don't plan on dying here." Without missing a beat, she whirled around and kicked another horizontally across its midriff, her leg slicing it in half as if it was made of butter.

"Install!" _Please don't kill me!_

This time, even Ruby forewent her usual flashy transformation scenes in favor of a faster result. _Not so concerned now, are you, you selfish traitor!_

As she clad herself in the power of the Heroic Spirit, the foreign memories and feelings washed over her.

"Th-this is…" she heard Ruby's disbelieving voice faintly, from above.

A magnificent palace that seemed as if made of crystal…

Masses adoringly cheering, holding out their hands and calling her name…

_That's right, I'm…_

A little boy holding up a childish picture of a family…

The pain in her chest as her head was placed beneath the blade…

_The tragic, besmirched Queen. Radiance in the sky. Blessings upon the Earth. Happiness to the people._

_Class Card Rider: Queen Marie Antoinette!_

"This is too ridiculous, Illya-san!"

_Eh?_ "Ruby! Where-"

"Up here!"

"Huh?"

Long pigtails ran down her back and Illya raised a gloved hand to her head, touching something… something… _poufy?_

"Illya-san, stop it! I am very tingly you know and it is really unbecoming of a lady to be touched in such an embarrassing manner…"

"Would you stop making this weird!"

"What are you doing?" the angry voice of Bazett put an end to their arguments. "Illyasviel, listen to me. We need you to use this Spirit's Noble Phantasm to the best of your ability!" she explained as she pushed Illya down and landed a kick on a doll's head. "If this Hero cannot take out several opponents at once, uninstall and replace it, but if it can," another couple of enemies went flying, "then clear a path for us. I will retreat to the forest with Tohsaka Rin and you can follow us from the air! Make sure to cut down any of those things trying to tail us." She ordered and retreated behind Illya.

"B-but wait a second, I don't- _gah!"_ she shrieked as a human hand grabbed her chest and squeezed violently. Illya flushed scarlet.

"Oh my~"

" _YOU PERVERTED FREAK!"_ she screamed as, in a sudden burst of kung-fu mastery, she drop-kicked the offending doll and sent it flying back, taking down several others with it. Illya instinctively grabbed the hat on her head, ignoring Ruby's protests – _be gentle with me, Illya-san!-_ and threw it upwards with all her strength. There, she watched as the pretty accessory seemed to… _float_ for a few seconds, like a jellyfish, before slowly descending on a puppet and-

_Whaaaa-_

The hat seemed to, for lack of a better word, absorb the puppet it landed on. Instead of simply staying on its head, the black lace that decorated the finishing of the strawberry colored accessory had expanded slightly and, as it fell, it seemed to completely swallow the doll in absurd speed, falling eventually to the ground. The oval patches of cream-colored fabric, encrusted with small pink stones and trimmed with the same black lace had briefly contorted and then returned to their original shape.

Illya watched flabbergasted as the white, butterfly-shaped bow in the front kept flapping its wings, the diamond in the middle seemingly trying to rip itself of.

"R-ruby…?"

And things became even more absurd as the hat actually _jumped_ on the next doll in its vicinity and devoured it whole, then proceeded to do the same to the nearest one and so on, until it reached Illya and jumped on her chest.

"Gyah, _get it away, get it away, get it AWAY FROM ME!"_ Illya screeched as she tagged at the thing, to force it to release its hold of horror on her strawberry-colored minidress.

"Illya-san, it's me! It's Ruby!" the bow flapped at her violently, trying to stop her from tagging it too hard. "Please relax! We need to-"

" _Illyasviel! Do you really think there is time for a comedy segment?"_

"Right, right!"

Bazett-san's angry voice snapped Illya back to the present. Taking a deep breath, she focused on Rider's spirit, completely in synch with her own and drew out her hidden power.

" _Guillotine Breaker!"_

As the rush of the magic enveloping her died down, Illya looked down at her mount. Made entirely out of crystal, the horse she was riding looked like the epitome of beauty. Delicate carvings of lilies decorated its entire body, each shining like a small star. She could feel the horse beneath her impatient to battle her enemies.

It only took the slightest amount of pressure from her thigh-high white boots for it to dash forward.

It was beyond anything Illya could have ever imagined. She clutched its mane tightly as it fell puppets left and right, giving her comrades a head-start. Illya knew there were limits to how many her horse could defeat, but at that moment, nothing could break her from the euphoric feeling that enveloped her. She'd take down as many as possible and return to the forest in Magical Girl form, if that was what it was required to buy the duo enough time to get away from the clutches of the crazy puppeet army.

_And when we get home,_ she thought angrily, _Angelica will have a few things to explain regarding this fiasco._

"Illya-san! Look!"

Ruby's worried voice snapped Illya out of her thoughts, as she turned her head to look at what had made Ruby so anxious.

Ahead of her, the sky above the great cavern seemed to be slowly breaking. "It's switching? _Now?_ "

"Yes! Illya-san, you must turn this animal around, immediately! Otherwise we-"

"I don't know how to stop this!"

"What do you mean, you don't know how to stop it! Just make it turn around! Order it!"

Illya pulled at the crystalline mane in her palms. "Turn! Turn back!" she yelled at it, but the horse seemed to ignore her. "Now! Do it!" The horse didn't stop its rampage though- nor did it deign to obey Illya's order. "Ruby! Can we uninstall?"

"No, it's impossible! Your body wouldn't be able to handle-"

The wand never got to finish its sentence. Reaching its limit, the crystal horse beneath Illya, the beautiful companion to one of the most well-known historical Queens of France, came to a sudden halt and disappeared into a cloud of beautiful sparkles, sending its little mistress flying.

Straight into the shifting great cavern.

"Eh?"

The last thing Illya heard was the desperate cries of her partner.

The last thing she thought before darkness overwhelmed her was _WHY?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am not sure the spell Rin uses can work at any random place, but since I couldn't find more on that, here it is... Anyway, this is the last part of the prologue, so with that out of the way... [insert obligatory maniacal laughter]
> 
> Till next time!


	3. Pure Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the authors speaking. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened and your snacks held close until the Captain turns off the HAHAHAHA sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is written by SuperNova23 ( u/2817228/SuperNova23) and I , so go check out his stories as well!
> 
> Disclaimer: If we had a dime for every time we will have to say we don't own Fate/ Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, we'd probably make enough money to actually own them.

"…-san!"

_Eh? What's that laughter?_

It was a strange, almost artificial sound that seemed to come from everywhere. Instinctively, Illya brought her knees towards her face, curling into a fetal position.

"Illya-san! Illya-san, this is bad, you must wake up!"

_Wake up… No, that's not right. I can't wake up in a… dream?_ The albino's eyes fluttered for a few moments, before shutting once more.

"Illya-san, quickly!"

_Theme park music?_

"BEAST MO- _"_

"I AM UP! _"_ Illya yelled at the top of her lungs, forcing herself to jump awake. "I am u- eh? Ru-ruby? What is this place?"

As she took in her surroundings with a fearful gaze, the red-eyed girl slowly stood up. _A theme park?_ Memories from before she woke up in this strange place flooded her mind: Rin-san, Bazett-san and her going to the great cavern, Rin-san's assessment of their status, the puppets, the Class Card… Her eyes widened. "Ruby! Where are we!" she asked in a panic. Staring down at her hands in horror, the short, strawberry-colored gloves were still on and she could feel her hair still long and styled in pigtails at each side of her head. "Is this some sort of trap? Are we under attack?"

"I don't know Illya-san, but this place…"

"Yeah… Where on Earth are we?"

"Rally-ho!"

The voice sounded as fake as the laughter she had heard before and just as menacing. With a sharp motion, the albino whirled around, trying to find its source.

"Illya-san, above!"

Just in time, Illya jumped out of the way of a giant scythe. Crossing her hands front of her face to avoid being blinded by the cloud of dust the weapon raised, she only barely managed to land on her feet.

"Rally-ho! Would you look at that?"

"What… is that thing?" she inquired to no one in particular, her eyes widening in fear. Floating above her head was the sort of face one would expect to see in a nightmare- a mechanical clown, with fake tears drawn beneath non-existent eyes and a large, twisted grin. Its face was a deathly white and on top of its head was a large purple and gold hat that matched its robes. What truly got Illya's full attention however, was the huge scythe it used as a weapon.

"Where did you come from little lady? I can't see you anywhere."

_Of course not, you don't have any eyes!_ "I…"

"Ah, no matter! I will simply kill you as well! Rally-ho!"

"H-hey! Don't say it like it's nothing! Can't we talk about it?"

Clearly, they could not. The clown brought the scythe down again and Illya gritted her teeth as she once more barely dodged the deadly weapon. She wasn't given any time to recover from the assault as the nightmare above her head slashed at her a third time, aiming for her head.

"Ruby! Hurry and uninstall! If I can get in the air, maybe then we-"

"Impossible! I already tried when I came to be here, but it is impossible for me to do it!"

"Wh-how is that possible?"

The albino dropped to her knees, only a fraction of the second before the blade came down and shaved a few hair off the top of her head. Illya brought her hand up to her hat, fully intending to unleash Ruby on that thing. Before she could throw it however, soft, white strands tied around her hand and neck tightly, immobilizing her. Dimly, she realized that what was holding her was her own hair, one pigtail forcibly removing her wrist from her hat, while the other tied itself several times around her neck, creating a noose that was becoming tighter and tighter.

_I can't… I can't breathe…_

"Illya-san!"

"Rally-ho! It sounds like my guests have had enough playing around! I will be right back for you little lady, so stay put!"

Illya barely noticed the retreating figure in the air, focused entirely on releasing the noose around her neck. She could faintly hear Ruby yelling above her head, but it was only white noise. Nothing could quite cut through the feeling of terror that had flooded her entirely.

A sharp pain on her legs alerted her to the fact she was no longer able to stand and fear gripped her even tighter in its icy hold.

She was dying.

Even her battle against Gil-kun, or the one against Beatrice Flowerchild had lacked that certainty of death she felt right now. The pain had been terrible, yes and she was afraid, but not for herself. She was worried about Miyu back then and determined to do everything in her power to save her friend.

This was different.

She really was dying and couldn't do a thing about it.

"R-ruby…" she managed to choke out.

The albino struggled for breath, as her own hair seemed to be choking her mercilessly. Tugging at the death trap around her neck as violently as she could, she felt her hold slightly relaxing as darkness appeared at the corners of her eyes.

_Kuro! Miyu! Someone, help me!_

"Illya-san!"

She felt a weight leaving her head, however she was too preoccupied with trying to take a breath. Illya knew that the moment she fell unconscious in this nightmare world, she would die.

A fight she was definitely losing, as her struggles lost more and more strength. She could now barely see anything beyond the black dots that clouded her vision.

_I won't… I won't…_

And just like that, the hair fell limp around her neck, as if the force behind their iron hold was gone.

The girl went on her knees, gulping air greedily. "R-ruby!"

"Right here Illya-san!" Her strangely poufy, talking hat floated on eye level. "Are you alright Master? How did you do that?"

"Me? I didn't do anything! I thought it was you!"

"I tried to force an uninstall by distancing myself, but you were already free before I got out of range!"

"Nevermind that now! We need to get out of here, right now! If he comes back-"

"I am not sure that this is possible."

"You are nothing but bad news all day, you know that?"

"Master, this is serious. We are trapped in some sort of Bounded Field, or even worse, a Reality Marble."

"Reality… Marble?"

"In either case, the only way out of here is to defeat that thing."

"B-but I can't! Ruby, he almost killed me!"

"Illya-san, we already have a Heroic Spirit Installed. I am certain we could fight back, or at least wait until the user runs out of mana, but you heard him, didn't you? We were an unplanned addition."

Illya paled. "You mean… this isn't for us…"

"Exactly. We are not the only people trapped here."

"Damn it…"

Without further delay, Illya turned around and ran towards the direction the robot-clown had floated towards.

_Why must they always wear heels!_

* * *

Running around that hellish theme park wasn't easy. It felt as if every millimeter was a trap and Illya had to avoid being caught or crushed several times.

_Where could that thing be…!_

The answer to that came surprisingly quick, as the sky above her darkened and the sickeningly pink clouds rushed towards her left. With no hesitation, Illya followed as fast as she could- which was a considerable speed to take into account. Within seconds, four men came into the albino's line of sight. They had their backs turned on her and didn't seem to notice her entering the fray. Looking up, she could understand why.

The freaky clown from before was twirling madly in the air, while a second monster was latched onto its neck. It appeared humanoid, with yellow eyes that reminded Illya those of an insect. It seemed to be composed of a jelly-like green component and silver robotic appendages.

"Kakyoin!" a deep voice snapped her attention back to the present. "Get Hierophant away from its back!"

At that moment, the gathering clouds combined into a fist, snatched the till-then useless scythe and poised to attack.

"I will chop you in hal-"

"Ruby!"

"Yep, yep, I got this~!"

"What the-"

With all her considerable strength as a Heroic Spirit, Illya threw her poufy hat towards the scythe, taking advantage of the fact that her appearance had momentarily made it freeze mid-strike. Ruby used the momentum of her throw, as well as the ribbon decorating the top of her hat, to land on top of the weapon and in one quick move, swallow it whole.

"My, my, what an honestly nauseating taste!"

"Alright!" the albino cheered from the ground. "Now he is helpless!"

" _Illya-san, get down!"_

"Eh?"

Before she could react, a large hand grabbed her by the neckline of her minidress and yanked her back, at the very moment a red mailbox passed by her seconds-ago position at an incredibly high speed that would have surely crashed her spine.

"H-huh?"

"Good grief… what a careless brat…"

"J-Jotaro!" an older voice said hesitantly.

"Hm?"

"Oh my~"

" _Put me down!"_ Twisting her body, Illya managed to land a kick at the back of the man holding her, with all the strength she could master at her uncomfortable position. Surprised, the man let her fall and the red-eyed girl grabbed the chance to pull her dress down with everything she had, covering up again. "I was going to duck! You pervert!" she screeched at him with tears of embarrassment welling up at the corners of her eyes. Her savior stared down at her rather unimpressed, or at least that was the only assumption she could make, seeing as the visor of his hat, that appeared to merge with the back of his hair, was drawn down to cover his eyes. On the center of the cap there was a golden button and next to it, a second, square pin with the image of a flattened hat. His clothing gave him the appearence of a delinquent, with his uniform modified accordingly, the stiff colar pierced with a chain and the pants being held up by two belts, patterned in a row of alternately colored tessellated triangles.

"Hey, brat! Jotaro just saved your ass you know!" the white-haired man with the weird hairstyle cut in, pointing a finger at Illya. He was easily as well-built as the others, wearing a black top with one strap running from his chest to his left shoulder and white slacks. On each ear he sported an earing of a jaggedly halved heart.

"Polnareff! You can't use such language in front of a child!" the old man tried to intervene. For his part, he was wearing more utilitarian clothes than the other two, a buttonless, short-sleeved shirt and khaki pants, with dress shoes and a pair of white gloves that reached a bit above his wrists.

"Isn't it wonderful Illya-san, all these men fighting because of you?"

"Stop saying it like it's a good thing!"

"You…" the cause of her troubles interrupted the small moment, focusing its gaze on Illya. "You are a Stand user?"

"Eh? What are you-"

"Oh yes, absolutely! _"_ Ruby yelled as loudly as she could. "My Master is exactly that!"

The albino made to protest the hat's declaration, but then she felt an intense gaze on her back. Turning her head, she took note for the first time of a violet-eyed man with red hair, staring her down. When a similarly ominous feeling came from the opposite direction, she looked back, noticing the glares she was receiving from the other men as well and cold sweat broke above her brow. The one with the cap especially, Jotaro, seemed to be scanning her very soul. Illya felt her left eye twitch.

_What's with this menacing atmosphere all of a sudden!_

"Yes, indeed, my Master is the all-powerful, unbeatable, most fearsome Stand user there has ever been! Men and women alike cower before her might, her cute face and her shining innocence that makes even the toughest of opponents-"

"Will you shut your mouth already, you stupid wand! _"_ she screamed as she grabbed Ruby from the top of her head, where she had returned after devouring the enemy's weapon, and shoved her on the ground.

"Illya-san, no need to be so violent, honestly, I think you've spent too much time around that violent hag, haven't you…"

"I will show you violent!"

"Rally-ho! Entertaining as the two of you have been, I am afraid you've made a fatal mistake!"

Focusing her attention back on the matter at hand, Illya removed her heel from the hat and watched in horror as another, larger scythe began forming in the clown's hands.

"It can't be!"

"Did you forget, little lady! This is my world! Nothing is impossible!" The grin on the thing's white face seemed to become even bigger. "For me, that is! And now, to finish this! Kakyoin! This time, I really will slice you in half!"

"Ruby!"

"Not this time, little lady! Rally-ho!"

The ground beneath Ruby lost its solidity, becoming something more akin to quick sand, slowly swallowing the hat. Illya made to grab it, however the moment she made contact with the Mystic Code, the pavement returned to its original composition, trapping Ruby within.

"Oh no! Ruby!" Illya tried to pull her out, but it only resulted in the pained yells of her poufy hat.

The scythe came down with unbelievable force, slicing both the green monster as well as taking away half of the clown's body.

"Impossible… He chopped himself… i-in half?" the red-headed one, Kakyoin, stared at the sliced monsters in pain, as the green monster released its hold on the clown and fell backwards.

"Kakyoin!" the other three men present yelled at the same time, moving towards their friend that had also collapsed.

_There is nothing I can do! Guillotine Breaker, maybe…again…_

"Rally-ho!" Illya gritted her teeth at the cheerful, childish catch-phrase that the clown kept on repeating. Everything about that thing was seriously grating on her nerves. "Didn't you know? Death 13's body is actually hollow!" The new scythe returned to its hand, as the thing exposed what consisted his body. "Death 13 is nothing more than arms, head and a giant scythe! You big dummy!"

Kakyoin was out of her line of sight, but the girl felt fear welling up. Ruby was unable to help her and she wasn't certain she could use Marie's Noble Phantasm a second time. The clown above her just kept laughing, the sound as rusty nails on a chalkboards in her ears. She had found herself in many desperate situations before, however and she knew that sometimes, the only way to make your opponent stand down was through brute force.

The real problem was that she wasn't certain whether or not she possessed the force necessary. _But I have to try! I can't let that freakish clown have his way!_

Illya raised her hand. "Guil-"

"Just kidding!"

The albino blinked. "Eh?"

Turning around, her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the teen that had previously collapsed in shock, now up and in perfect health, patting down his green school-uniform to fix the wrinkles.

"Kakyoin!"

"A-are you okay?" that was the old man, sounding genuinely relieved.

"Please, take a look. My Hierophant isn't so careless as to stay on his back forever."

The clown gasped and so did everyone but Kakyoin. A thin strand of green and white was coming out of his ear and with a swift move, the green monster tore the remaining robes away and unraveled, entering the clown's head.

_Gross. Gross, gross, this is so_ gross!

The clown frantically waved his scythe around, trying to defend itself, only for Hierophant to easily dodge all attempts and enter his head even faster. Before the albino's widened eyes, the clown raised his scythe against his own neck, struggling every single moment against taking that very action.

"My arm, I can't control it…" it stuttered and Illya could actually feel the fear radiating off of it as the last part of the other monster entered its brain. The clown threw his head back, in obvious agony. "It's going in…"

"As I said," Kakyoin continued to explain, "he was on your back, so your scythe couldn't touch him. Now, if you'd rather not be torn up from the inside, why don't you heal the wound on my arm?" Pulling back his sleeve, Illya could make out… letters? _Carved on his arm?_ "Anything is possible in a dream, so you should be able to heal my cuts, right?"

"Y-yeah…"

"And Ruby!" she yelled. "Release Ruby as well!"

"O-of course!"

This time, her Mystic Code came out of its constraints as if they were made of butter and jumped on Illya's chest. In return, the albino hugged it tightly.

And then, she noticed the sky above her slowly break, to give its place to a dark void.

_Not again!_

Darkness swallowed her and then there was nothing more.

* * *

"Hey, brat. Wake up." A black shoe nudged softly the sides the sleeping girl.

"Jotaro! That is no way to treat a child! You'll scare her!"

"Maybe if we poked her with a stick…" the Frenchman suggested, rubbing the back of his head.

"She is not an animal, you brute! Here! Let someone with experience do it!"

Kakyoin shook his head at his companions. All three of them were gathered around the little girl that had seemingly fallen in the middle of their camp the previous night and while he himself was curious, he was also the only one to remember last night's events that had almost cost them their lives. The girl had aided them in her own way, but the fact that she was now out of that ridiculous outfit and her… talking… poufy hat out of sight, made him hold back. After all, no one suspected that the baby they had so readily agreed to help was nothing more than a sociopathic freak.

Really, why he spared it at all was beyond him. _I am getting soft._

As if on cue, the sound of dry heaving came from behind him and he couldn't help but smirk. Admittedly, he had been unnecessarily cruel, but it was vital he made his point clear. He was certain that that ugly baby wouldn't try anything funny in the near future, or eating its own poop would be the least of its worries.

"Maybe she is dead!"

"Good grief… do the dead in your homeland usually breathe?"

"Right…"

"Well, it definitely looks like she is a difficult one to wake up…"

_Honestly…_ "Now, now, it's better if we just leave her alone, isn't it?" he cut in. "I will save her some breakfast and we can try again later. Look at her, she is clearly exhausted."

"Kakyoin has a point." Mr. Joestar nodded. Carefully, he picked the white-haired girl up and began walking towards the sleeping bags. The girl had apparently spent the entire night on the cold ground, so resting for a while on something softer would help with any stiffness that may have resulted from that. At least that was the plan, until the air carried the smell of breakfast to them.

A growling sound, unbefitting of a lady for sure, came from the girl.

Kakyoin couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the way the girl's nose seemed to be sniffing the air around her. Then, slowly, her eyes opened, revealing bright red orbs. They were hazy and unfocused as she tried to rise while in the old man's arms.

"Oh, it looks like she is waking up!"

"Eh? Let me see!"

Contrary to the other two, Jotaro looked decidedly unimpressed with the whole situation. Kakyoin put down his cup of coffee and rose from where he was sitting, slightly curious himself to take a closer look at the little girl that had somehow been caught up in last night's nightmare.

"Onii.."

"Ah! She is saying something!"

"…-chan." she finished sleepily, as she hugged Joseph's neck and, without warning, placed a kiss on his lips.

No one moved for a few seconds.

The girl slowly, ever so slowly, drew back from the frozen old man and blinked.

"Huh?"

"Oh my, Illya-san, such an unexpected treat!" A second, clearly older female voice, came from her hair. "Such a show of innocent, young love truly makes my day!"

" _Eh?"_

With a shriek that could've woken the dead, the girl –Illya- clumsily jumped out of the still unmoving Mr. Joestar's arms and landed gracelessly on her butt.

"I-I-I… I am so, so very sorry, I didn't mean to do that at all please forgive me!"

"Now, now Illya-san, you shouldn't be ashamed! Your love is forbidden and yet you still yearn-"

"I will bury you in the sand and leave you there to rot you good for nothing-"

"Tsk, tsk, such uncivilized behavior so early in the morning. Truly, that ape has been rubbing off on you, hasn't she?"

With inhuman speed, the girl shoved a hand in her hair and pulled out a… thing. It looked as if made of actual gold, a ring with a gold star in the middle and three small, decorative pink wings on each side. Illya threw it in the sand and angrily stepped on it, as if trying to crush it beneath her heel.

_This thing… talks? Is this her Stand's true form?_

He had to admit, he was slightly less impressed than he had expected.

"I'll show you-"

_Enough of this._ Kakyoin carefully cleared his throat, but girl and… thing, seemed to completely ignore him in favor of throwing verbal abuse at each other. He cleared his throat a second time, louder, with absolutely no result once again.

Mr. Joestar still looked completely frozen.

Polnareff was chuckling,

Jotaro looked at his wit's end.

As he prepared to try and verbally intervene in their fight however, a blue flash passed before Kakyoin's eyes and suddenly, the causes of this morning's headache were both hanging each from Star Platinum's hands.

"Will the both of you shut up? You piss me off you brat!" Kujoh Jotaro yelled at the top of his considerable lungs.

"S-sorry!"

"Oh my, such a temperamental young man~"

Star Platinum visibly squeezed the feathered thing a bit tighter, eliciting a groan of pain. "I will put both of you down. Not a word unless you are asked something. Understood?"

"Y-yes!"

"Now, now Jotaro, no need to terrify the poor kid." he spoke up, trying to calm down his friend.

As Star Platinum released the little albino, Kakyoin knelt beside her and held out his hand, smiling. "My name is Kakyoin Noriaki. Nice to meet you."

The girl took his hand hesitantly. "Nice to meet you too. I am Illyasviel von Einzbern. But you can call me Illya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Five minutes in and Jotaro is already having none of Illya and Ruby's crap. This is gonna be interesting...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave your thoughts for us in the review box below if you have nothing better to do with your life (or if you do, we take all kinds, really), favorite and follow and tune in for the next chapter! Cheers! :D


	4. Topsy Turvy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illya and the Stardust Crusaders get to know each other, become very, very suspicious on the loli, punch the wand that no one likes and the Earth goes on spinning. In a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is written by SuperNova23 ( u/2817228/SuperNova23) and I, so go check out his stories as well!
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own JoJo's Bizzare Adventure and Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya. Because this world is an ugly place.

"Nice to meet you too. I am Illyasviel von Einzbern. But you can call me Illya."

The albino was still slightly suspicious as she stood up and shook the red-head's hand. Her memories of last night were still fresh and she found herself hesitant to get close to him, remembering very clearly how he seemed to be controlling the monster which had taken over the clown that had tried to kill her, as well as the hard look he had given her at the mention of her being something called a Stand user. However, his smile was now gentle and Illya felt more inclined to believe that it was simply the heat of the battle that had forced him to act that way- after all, hadn't she unleashed Quintet Fire on Gil-kun during their final fight, in self-defense?

"Hm? That sounds German, doesn't it?"

"Y-yeah, I was born there."

"And what exactly are you doing here then?"

Illya felt cold sweat gather above her brow. "Uh… ahaha… what an excellent question… Jotaro-san, right?" she smiled up at him awkwardly. Instead of saying anything, he simply stared at her, waiting. _What a scary guy…_

"Illya-san!" Ruby whispered quietly in her ear. "Stop grimacing like that, it makes you look sick!"

_What do you expect me to do then!_

As if sensing her thoughts, the Mystic Code patted her comfortingly behind the ear. "Fufufu, don't worry Illya-san! I just yesterday finished a very special drug that I wanted to try on y- a yulungshan vole! It will erase all traces of will and turn everyone into compliant little puppets for me to control as I please! And the best part is, I haven't finished an antidote yet! So leave this to me!"

_Why would you even create something like that! You were planning to use it on me, weren't you?_

Ruby's chemical concoctions had a large track record of getting Illya into trouble, with the most prominent being what had happened at the beach and turning Shirou's mind to mush. Illya had neither forgotten nor forgiven her partner for that fiasco, nor did she believe there would ever be such a time that she would.

And the maniacal stick was about to use another of her contraptions while she was alone and surrounded by people she had never met before in her life.

She felt, rather than saw, the golden blur that was Ruby flying straight towards Jotaro-san, the sharp end of a needle high in the air and a crazy laughter ringing throughout the small oasis. Illya didn't even have enough time to yell a warning, before the stick reached her target, who seemed oblivious to the fact that doom was upon him.

" _ORA!"_

_Eh?_

Blinking, Illya took in the image of Ruby lying at her feet, the syringe broken, groaning in pain.

Not fully comprehending what was happening, she looked up.

_Eh?_

Jotaro had not lifted a finger to counter Ruby, nor had he moved an inch from his spot. No, he had left all that at the hands of the thing staring her down from behind him.

_What the…?_

With a gasp, Illya took in the blue and purple giant, with golden guards on his shoulders and a matching headband, a red scarf tied losely around its throat. It had long hair that were, for lack of a better word, _floating_ behind its head like snakes. Its eyes were an icy blue similar to that of its user and the full impact of their combined glaring was directed at her. She felt the hair at the back of her neck stand, as her stomach tied itself in a knot.

_What on Earth… is that thing…_

Fearfully she took a step back, too scared to leave the thing from her sight.

"Brat… correct me if I'm wrong, but your Stand just attacked me, didn't it?" The question had been delivered with a cold, calm tone of voice that send another shiver down Illya's spine.

"I… uh…" _Why do_ I _get blamed for this! That stupid wand got me into trouble again!_

"Would that by any chance mean that you work for Dio?"

The atmosphere seemed to have become even tenser after the new name had been uttered, enough so that one could cut through it with a knife. The albino could feel everyone's eyes turned on her and swallowed.

 _Dio?_ "I- I don't know- who that is." she managed to choke out.

Jotaro's eyes narrowed, making her stomach turn. "Is that so?"

Illya looked around helplessly, but received only cold stares. Kakyoin was looking at her in the same manner as yesterday and the white-haired guy –Polnareff, she believed- looked ready to lunge. Strangely enough, the old man from before was rooted in the spot she had, uh, woken up, arms raised as if holding something, his eyes bulging.

 _What do I do? They don't believe me!_ Unbidden, the image of the green monster from the night prior came to her mind, inserting itself into the clown's skull and taking over its body. This time, what little control she had left snapped completely.

Turning around, she made a run for it.

* * *

Kujo Jotaro raised a brow at the brat's clumsy retreat. Really, he was just trying to remain civilized.

"Hierophant Green!"

A small white cord tied itself around the albino's ankle and tackled her to the ground. Falling on her stomach, her breath was knocked out of her and she remained prone for a few minutes, during which none of the rest of the group left her from their eyes- with the exception of his stupid old man of course. Joseph was currently a few feet away, seemingly experiencing some sort of mental breakdown, if he were to judge from his frozen stance and the fact he hadn't said anything since the brat woke up.

_Good grief… and we just got rid of that other one too…_

As she lay there, Jotaro took a better look at her. Putting aside her unusual features, the girl didn't seem dressed for weather as hot as the current one, with a woolen cream jacket and fluffy pink boots. Beneath the jacket, he could see parts of a purple dress with a white hem. What really stood out to him however, aside from the unfit clothing, was the silvery hue of her hair. Even if she was an albino, her appearance seemed more… otherworldly, for lack of a better word.

_She definitely is an unusual brat… without considering that she seemingly dropped in the middle of the camp during the night._

With a soft groan, the girl slowly turned around to look at them, eyes wide. In all honesty, Jotaro found that annoying- it wasn't like anyone had actually hurt her and he had only defended himself against her Stand.

The thought reminded him of the gold and pink thing on the ground, where it had landed after Star Platinum punched it away. This was getting more and more strange. Not only had he not seen any signs of injury, or even discomfort from the girl earlier, when he hit her Stand, but she also seemed rather unconcerned by its fate, trying to flee alone. Under any other circumstances, he would have assumed she wasn't a Stand user, but her reaction to Star Platinum made it obvious that she could see it clearly.

But he hadn't heard of a Stand that didn't affect its user when hurt. Yellow Temperance was capable of absurd amounts of endurance in terms of pain and maybe that was also the pink thing's deal, but he somehow doubted it. There was also the fact that it seemed to have its own personality and free will, enough to come at odds with her user, a fact unheard of so far. He watched silently as it twitched on the ground, regaining its bearings. Admittedly, he had gone slightly tougher on it than he would have in any other case, having noticed earlier how the brat hadn't reacted in his squeezing the thing harder. He couldn't determine the situation and it troubled him. For now, he decided, he'd treat it as the albino's own ability, unless it was proven otherwise.

The Stand on the ground suddenly shot upwards, flying straight at the girl. "Illya-san!"

"Ruby!" she yelled back, opening her arms and embracing the thing on her chest tightly. Jotaro resisted the unexpected urge to roll his eyes. _You'd think we are about to murder her._ As she looked around panicked, her gaze focused on Hierophant's appendage around her leg. To his interest, her face twisted in horror and she turned around to stare at Kakyoin. _How does she know it belongs to him?_ Granted, Hierophant was indeed standing behind the redhead- however the brat had her back turned on him originally and her eyes had gone straight to him after her fall- as if she knew exactly who the user was. And the fearful way she had glanced at his best friend- as if she was familiar enough with the Stand to be terrified to such a degree.

"Now, now." Ever the peacemaker, Kakyoin took a step forward. "I think that we should start over, what do you say?"

Sighing at the pointed glance, Jotaro called back Star Platinum and walked towards the brat. She shrank back a bit, but otherwise did not move. Bringing himself on eye level with her, he extended his hand.

"I am Kujo Jotaro. Nice to meet you."

Trembling, she took his hand and shook it. "I am Illya. Nice to meet you, Jotaro-san."

"And I am Ruby! Nice to meet you as well~"

A tiny pink feather shoved its way into his palm. For a second, the brunette prepared to defend himself, but the strange Stand didn't appear willing to do anything other than shake his hand along with her brat. Suddenly, he was pushed out of the way by none other than the French idiot, Polnareff. With a huge smile on his face, he grabbed the brat's hand with both of his and introduced himself as well. This time, her smile was a bit more genuine. Looking back towards the old man's direction, he couldn't detect any change in his stance and with a sigh, he pointed a thumb at him.

"And that one standing over there is my old man, Joseph Joestar. I am sure he is pleased to meet you."

Directing everyone's attention at the frozen man, the brat flushed scarlet. "Is he… going to be alright?"

"Give him time."

"You sure gave him quite the shock, Illya!" Polnareff snickered. "I know I'd be freaked out if a brat like you kissed me."

The albino's eyes widened comically. "W-would you stop bringing that up please! It was an accident!"

"I don't know, Illya-chan." Kakyoin joined in, a teasing glint in his eyes. "You looked quite passionate over there."

"Fufufu, indeed Master. I'd say that was quite the scene, just equal parts passionate and innocent… warms the heart, doesn't it?"

Kakyoin nodded with a small smile and Polnareff burst out in full blown laughter at the embarrassed look on the brat's face.

"Not fair! Why must you pick on me like that?" she yelled tearing up, causing another round of laughter amongst the others. Even he felt a small smirk tagging at the corner of his lips, until he noticed something that drained all the amusement out of him.

Despite his jovial expression, Kakyoin was tense, as if he expected the brat to suddenly turn into an enemy. Jotaro was unsure as to why, since the extend of the brat's power seemed to be insignificant –if unbelievably annoying- but if Kakyoin thought it better to not bring anything up for now, Jotaro decided that he would follow his friend's lead. Despite his outburst the previous night, the brunette had a hunch that he shouldn't be so fast to doubt his comrade's actions quite yet.

A loud growl put an abrupt end to the laughter and the brat's face became even redder. "I…uh…"

Jotaro's face went into a deadpan. _Good grief… this is going to be more trouble than it is worth…_

* * *

Kakyoin threw in another couple of sausages and two eggs in the frying pan he had used to cook breakfast earlier.

"We don't have anything other than coffee left, but the water should do, right?" he asked politely. Illya nodded her affirmation and, once everything was ready, dag in like a starving man. Within few moments, her plate was empty and the redhead was certain that if no one else was present, she'd probably literally lick the plate clean. Polnareff offered to make her seconds, which she hurriedly accepted and was now happily munching on her food, with considerably more humane rhythm.

Despite what he showed outwards, Kakyoin felt nervous around the girl. Not only because of the incompetent way she had handled the situation she had found herself in, but based on the capabilities she had demonstrated the previous night, it made him certain that she was hiding something. _Better to keep her within arm's reach… or rather, Hierophant's._ It was cruel of him, but if she showed the least bit of hostile intentions towards himself or his friends, he would blow her leg up with Emerald Splash.

He had spotted the albino shooting him worried glances when she thought he wasn't looking, but had pretended not to notice. He knew she was aware of the safety lock he had placed on her, in fact he was counting on it. The fearful way she had stared at him when he first tackled her down was enough to tell him of the kind of impression his Stand had made on her, which worked well for him. While she certainly lacked the malicious aura of most of Dio's lackeys and had fought against Death XIII the previous night, her circumstances were all around suspicious. Kakyoin knew he was being overcautious, but yesterday's display simply wouldn't leave his mind; she had been strong enough to kick herself free of Jotaro, her get-up and hair were entirely different and she had that poufy… hat that ate Death XIII's scythe in one go. And yet she had used none of those abilities now, where she was seemingly trapped with hostile strangers until only half an hour ago.

"Illya-chan." he said conversationally. "Why don't you call your Stand back?"

"Eh?" she looked up from her plate, confused. "My what?"

"Your _Stand_ Illya-san!" Ruby cut in, flying close to the girl's face. "Kakyoin-san is right. You can't have your Stand out all the time for the world to see!"

"What are you-"

"Enough young lady!" To everyone's surprise, Ruby threw herself with all the momentum she could master onto the albino's face, making her fall backwards, the plate slipping from her hands and spilling its contents.

"Ruby, wha-" Illya whined, only to be interrupted.

"You must keep that ultimate, super specially strong weapon hidden! You can't have your weaknesses revealed! Do-you-understand?" Ruby continued, accentuating each word of the last sentence with a smack on Illya's forehead.

"Ouch! Ruby stop it!"

"Excellent! Now, make your Stand disappear!"

"But I don't have a Stand!"

"Of course you do! You have a very powerful Stand that nobody should ever witness unless you intent to gorily murder them."

"What?! But I don't want to murder anyone!"

"Illya-san, I _swear_ -"

Kakyoin felt a bead of sweat run down the back of his head. _Are those two for real?_

"Gimme a break…" he heard Jotaro mutter, annoyance already reappearing in his tone. Polnareff was snickering in the distance and he himself was too stunned from the display before him. As their two guests kept going at each other, he felt the gears in his head turn. That girl seemed to have no concept of what a Stand was, as was apparently the case with Ruby, despite what she seemed to want to make them believe with her ludicrous boasting. Thinking back, she had also looked perplexed last night, after Death XIII had questioned her about the poufy hat, which, come to think of it, shared an incredibly similar voice with Ruby. Try as he might he was unable to deduce even remotely the functions of Illya-chan's Stand.

"- and cook your enemies' heads with onions as you mercilessly munch on their intestines!"

"What kind of person do you take me for?!"

In a fraction of a second, Ruby was thrown across the small oasis on a nearby palm tree, making a dent on the bark and slowly sliding down. Illya looked incredulously at the violent interruption and, dare he think it, a little bit satisfied.

No injuries.

No pain.

Not a single reaction that would indicate Ruby's pain was shared by the albino. This bothered him far too much and simply added to the pile of strange events that surrounded her.

"Now that _that_ is out of the way…" Jotaro turned his attention back to Illya. "Brat. Do you actually have any idea what a Stand is?" he asked bluntly.

Kakyoin trained his eyes on her, as did Polnareff. The albino seemed to think about it, staring at each one of them, her gaze lingering slightly on the redhead. In the end, she smiled apologetically.

"No idea… sorry." A groan came from Ruby's general direction, though it sounded as if it was more of an exasperated one rather than from actual pain. Illya's eyes turned determined. "However I don't mean anyone any harm, honest! I myself am confused about how I got here in the first place after all."

"You may say that, Illya, but you fell in the middle of our camp during the time we are asleep. Along with that… thing." Polnareff cut in. A protest was heard from far away behind him, but everyone ignored Ruby. "How would you explain that, exactly?"

"I know it sounds suspicious, but would you believe me if I said this happens to me more often than one would expect…" No one commented on that, so with a sigh, the albino continued. "I know it's a lot to ask, but please, trust me, I mean no harm to you." Kakyoin made a mental note of _that_ statement. To the casual observer, Illyasviel was nothing more than a child, not a day over twelve, surrounded by bulky, overly tall, if he would be so arrogant as to say powerful individuals, with nothing more to show than her 4 ft or so of height and a wacky probably-Stand. And yet she was trying to convince them that _she_ was no threat to _them._ From the corner of his eye he caught Jotaro's eyebrows also shooting upwards at the declaration. "I don't know why you would think that this Dio would send me against you, or even who Dio is in the first place. But-", she brought a hand to her chest, "that thing attacked me as well. I am not an enemy and I don't know why anyone would want you dead. I just… I just want to go home." When she finished her little speech, tears had gathered at the corner of her eyes, but she didn't lower them.

Kakyoin pondered over the new information. Truthfully, he hadn't sensed any lie from her but that wouldn't mean anything. The others, after all, did not seem to find anything suspicious about the demon baby either.

"Brat. What thing are you talking about exactly?"

_Crap._

"Eh?"

"You said that that 'thing' attacked you as well. However," Jotaro turned his cap to the side, "we were not attacked by anyone yesterday and we just found you here this morning."

" _Eh?"_ The shock in Illya's face was almost palpable. The redheaded teen began sweating himself. He hadn't had a chance to warn her about Death XIII's after-effect after all and if she began explaining what had transpired, there was a good chance she wouldn't be taken seriously by everyone else. Worse yet, they may begin to think of her as going bonkers, just like they had with him the previous night and that would only bring about more complications. "B-but Jotaro-san, what are you-"

"OH MY GOD! _"_

Making everyone jump in surprise, Joseph Joestar had apparently chosen this moment – _this perfect moment, in Kakyoin's humble opinion-_ to wake up from his black out and re-enter the world of the living.

"Good grief…" Jotaro sighed in annoyance, pulling his cap lower.

"Hoh? Looks like Mr. Joestar just awoke from your love spell Illya-san~"

" _M-m-my what?!"_

" _ORA!"_ For the third time, Ruby found herself being thrown as far away from her little mistress as possible in a most violent manner, something that, to his slight amusement, only helped the poor girl's flustered face. Amidst Polnareff's hearty laughter and Jotaro's exasperation, Kakyoin had a slightly ominous feeling that the little ojou-chan wouldn't be going away any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Will we ever give Ruby a break? No. Never. Someone has to do this and it may as well be the Stardust Crusaders. Or literally anyone else.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave your thoughts for us in the box below and show us your love by favoriting and following! Tune in for the next chapter and thanks for reading! :D


	5. Topsy Turvy Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And shopping ensues. Shopping and punching should not be intertwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is written by SuperNova23 ( u/2817228/SuperNova23) and I, so go check out his stories as well!
> 
> A/N 2: Because this appears to be an issue, let us clarify. The Class Cards Illya has with her are the canon Saber, Rider and Assassin. Marie's Class Card is more of a tribute to the idea that started this whole story, along with the fact that her poufy hat is in fact some sort of gateway to Hell thing. Which is great. Gateways to Hell, I mean. You never know when they may prove themselves useful.
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own JoJo's Bizzare Adventure and Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya, because if we did, tomatoes wouldn't be fruit.

Illya sighed and rubbed the small of her back. She still felt sore from all the fighting the previous night and, along with that, her mana was severely depleted. Not only hadn't she had a proper rest, but her body was still beaten up from the fight in the Ainsworth castle, which had been topped off with the fights in the cavern and the dream world of Death XIII, let alone the fact that, according to Ruby, the damage from her use of the Zwei function hadn't properly healed yet. And as the cherry on top, she was trapped in _yet another_ different dimension, with the added bonus of this one not even having the decency to be a parallel one. _Really, when is the comet going to land on my head?_

Ruby was resting in her usual spot in her hair, for now keeping blessedly quite. After the morning's hustle, everyone had settled in for a more cooperative, if still tense, atmosphere and that was how it had gone on throughout the rest of the day. She had helped them pick up camp to the best of her abilities, laughing at Polnareff and Mr. Joestar's joking, pretending not to notice that every move she made was carefully surveyed by pretty much everyone in the camp- it even felt as if the _baby_ was watching her. She knew that it would be careless of them to act in any different manner, but she also couldn't help but compare it to how she had treated Erica-chan when she had "visited" them at school. Did it mean that her group had been careless, or did it make her current companions a bit over the top? Illya was well aware of the monster's appendage around her leg, even if she couldn't really see it, which made her even more jumpy. She could get a hint well enough and although she could understand Kakyoin-san's caution towards her, it still didn't make her feel any more welcome.

After a few hours, the group reached a small town that seemed to Illya more like a resort for rich people, were she to judge from the western-style villas and the expensive cars, although it did seem to her a bit odd that most of them seemed to be so old. Maybe antique cars were in fashion in this part of the world? She shrugged and continued to walk silently beside her two companions.

The first thing they had done when they had reached this place was to decide how to handle the baby. She herself found it strange that its mother would simply hand her sick baby to total strangers to take care of but, as it had been explained to her by Mr. Joestar, there was no room for another person on the plane and it had been urgent. So their priority was to take the baby to receive medicinal care, but in order to avoid the potentially time consuming deed from delaying them too much from their original time-table, whatever that was, Jotaro and Polnareff would handle the replacement of the equipment lost during a plane crash that Mr. Joestar had insisted was not his fault. Too many times for comfort, in the albino's opinion, who was uncomfortably reminded of Tatsuko at that moment.

Illya would have much preferred to remain behind with Jotaro and Polnareff, seeing as the Frenchman, despite his knack for teasing her, was the friendliest one yet. Not that Mr. Joestar wasn't- it was simply that Kakyoin-san would be with him and his insistence on keeping an eye on her with his body-possessing monster wasn't doing wonders for their relationship, or even for putting her at ease around him.

"Alright! Now that that's done, we can finally go have some lunch!"

Illya perked up immediately at the mention of food. "Lunch?" Her stomach was killing her and lunch sounded most welcome.

"Hm? You are still hungry Illya-chan?" Kakyoin questioned with a raised eyebrow, sounding genuinely surprised. "You ate double the amount of anyone else during breakfast."

"And she is so tiny!" Mr. Joestar exclaimed loudly. "Where do you even put all that food Illya!"

_Stop making me sound like a pig!_

Before the albino could retort however, Kakyoin spoke up. "Haven't we already been through this street, Mr. Joestar?"

"Hm?" the older man looked around perplexed and his eyes widened. "Oh, no!"

Illya immediately became alarmed. Lunch was on the line here! "Mr. Joestar, do you know where we are?" she demanded in a panic.

"No worries Illya! I have the map right here!" he answered, clumsily pulling out the map from his back pocket and unfolding it in haste. "We probably took a wrong turn around this corner…"

The hungry albino raised herself on her toes, trying to peer into the map herself. And while that failed, seeing as she barely reached Mr. Joestar's midriff, she did notice one detail that sent her head spinning.

"Uh… Mr. Joestar… The map…"

"What about the map?" the current source of her pain inquired.

"It's a map of New York…"

" _What? Oh my God!"_

Illya heard Kakyoin-san slap his forehead as she slumped on the ground in defeat. _I am never getting lunch, am I?_

With a loud sigh, Kakyoin patted her head. "Don't worry, we can ask for directions."

Mr. Joestar immediately brightened. "Yes! I can get us to the meeting point once we reach the center of the town, no problem!"

"Ah, that… won't be necessary Mr. Joestar. We cannot afford to get lost, unless we want Illya-chan here to starve." the redhead smiled apologetically.

"Hm. Have it your way." The older man grumbled and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

 _He is so childish…_ With a sigh, Illya raised the sleeves of her dress as high as they would go, preparing herself mentally for the who-knew-how-long walk. The weather was absurdly hot, which wasn't particularly strange, considering the month, but as she found herself walking through the warm streets, sweating bullets, she wished that Gil-kun had been less generous- the pink dress she had been wearing when she first reached Miyu's world would have been great just now.

As if reading her mind, Mr. Joestar spoke up. "Aren't you getting hot, Illya? That dress looks pretty warm."

"Uh, well, it's not like I can change out of it, so it will have to do." she answered politely.

"Since we are out shopping either way, I could buy you a new one." the old man offered. "Money is not an issue, so you shouldn't feel bad about it!"

"Yeah, that is true." Kakyoin agreed. "It won't do anyone any favors if you pass out from the heat after all."

Illya flushed. "I wouldn't want to impose…"

"I told you already, money is not an issue! You can think of it as a gift!"

"It's true, Illya-san!" Ruby chirped from her spot in her hair. The Mystic Code had immediately perked up at the mention of shopping, which had sent Illya's instincts on high alert. "After all, it would be rude to deny a gift!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Then it is settled!" Mr. Joestar yelled excitedly and hit her on the back, making her almost lose her balance. His excitement was kind of unsettling to her, really. It reminded her eerily of Mama, when she would decide it was time for mother-daughter bonding, something that translated mostly on Irisviel going berserk on the shopping district. "Come! It is time for shopping!"

"But I-"

"Yes, indeed, a most excellent idea!" Illya would never understand how someone who possessed no face, like Ruby, could look so menacing. "Fufufu, let's get you dressed up Master! I've been waiting for this moment~"

"But-lunch-"she made a last, futile attempt, knowing that it was doomed but having to try anyway, ever hoping.

"It will only take a few minutes Illya, no need to worry!" Mr. Joestar grinned encouragingly, her already alert senses going on hyper alert.

_I have a bad feeling about this…_

* * *

"Man, this place is so hot…" Polnareff complained for the millionth time, swatting a fly away from his face. Jotaro had to agree with the Frenchman, but he refrained from doing so verbally- gods knew his companion didn't need any encouragement. They'd just have to suck it up.

The brunette lit another cigarette and inhaled. The familiar bitterness was soothing, albeit a tiny bit less enjoyable -those foreign brands didn't really suit his taste all that much, but he'd survive. Letting the smoke out, he watched it create strange shapes as it slowly dissapeared from sight. His Mom always disapproved of smoking- she said it was bad for his lungs and that he'd get a horrible smell all over him and sometimes he was certain that he had picked it up less because it was an enjoyable habit and more because it was one of the few things that actually got a rise out of the annoying woman.

_That dumb bitch..._

Thirty-one days remaining for the arrival of the deadline on his mother's life; he found it difficult to believe that they had been on the road for only twenty days, it seemed so much longer. And now, they were a breath away from Egypt and Dio. Anger flared up as thoughts of the man responsible for a hundred years' worth of troubles for his family came up, with his mother's illness being the breaking point. From what he had been told by the old man, Dio was quite the twisted asshole- sewing his own head on a dead man's body and by doing so, dragging the entire Joestar family into whatever his endgame was once more, after an entire century. Jotaro couldn't really say that he cared a whole lot for what had happened back then, in England, but he sure did plan on repaying that asshole in kind for all the trouble he had caused him and his family. After all, debts was a thing he disliked collecting.

"…what do you say?"

As he was snapped back to the present, Jotaro looked at his friend. "What?"

"Oh come on, you weren't listening to me? What's up with you today!" the Frenchman whined. "I said, the others are missing for a long time now. Maybe they've run into an enemy. We should check on them."

 _Gimme a break…_ "And how do you propose we do that? Leaving the meeting spot will not do us any favors if we don't even have a general idea of where to look."

"But we were supposed to meet half an hour ago!"

 _Polnareff has a point but… even if there_ is _trouble, I am sure they can handle themselves._

…

_At least, Kakyoin can._

As if on cue, Jotaro caught a glimpse of styled red hair in the crowd, hastily making its way towards their spot. The brunette immediately felt a sense of foreboding, as the towering height of Joseph Joestar would make it difficult for him to be hidden by the people going on about their daily lives, which made the fact that Kakyoin was approaching him and Polnareff alone all the more worrisome.

 _Good grief… what_ now?

* * *

"Absolutely not! This colour is absolutely not acceptable!" Ruby shoved herself in Joseph Joestar's face aggressively. "Deep purple makes her look too dark, plus it clashes with the air of childish naiveté Illya-san projects! It completely ruins her innocent-and-hopeful characterization! Are you trying to portray her as some sort of psychotic loli?"

"What are you saying, you ignorant hag? This colour will match beautifully with the white skirt!"

"Hag? Oh, that's just precious coming from a geezer like you! And that combination just isn't summer at all! Bright colours will bring out her liveliness and energetic personality, while powder colours highlight her childishness!"

"Sometimes a little lady just needs to look elegant and poised you rusty scrap of metal!"

Kujo Jotaro took a deep breath. Then another.

No, it wasn't working.

_I will fucking kill him._

Jotaro felt the vein in his forehead about to pop, as the brat's Stand and his old man kept yelling at each other. Letting his eyes wander around, he found the brat itself buried under a mountain of clothes, her eyes dull and lifeless. Under normal circumstances, he would ignore such antics, but watching his idiot gramps and the monstrous Stand shove clothes at each other made a twinge of pity blossom into his chest.

Without a word, he walked briskly towards the arguing pair, somehow getting even more annoyed at the fact neither of them seemed to notice him closing in on them.

* * *

" _Kakyoin, where is the old man and the brat?"_

_"We… have a situation."_

_Jotaro felt his back stiffen. "An enemy Stand?" Polnareff's earlier concerns suddenly didn't sound so paranoid._

" _Not… quite. Last time I saw them, they were fine- Illya-chan was a bit roughed up but fine, although I am not sure how long that will last with those two."_

" _Spit it out already!" the Frenchman yelled in exasperation. "Are they or are they not in danger?"_

_The redheaded student raised his hands in a motion of surrender. "It is a rather… bizarre situation. I am unsure how to handle it myself, so I thought that I should get back-up."_

_Jotaro opened his mouth to ask another question, then closed it again and sighed._ Good grief… _"Explain on the way to where they are then. We cannot waste any more time here."_

" _Alright then, follow me please."_

* * *

"- and I will not allow you to ruin that!" the gold and pink Stand yelled in a finite tone.

"This is a crime against child fashion! Just because this place is hot, I cannot allow that to prevent Illya from properly showing off what the winter collection can offer her!"

"… Eh?"

Joseph Joestar was a very persistent person.

On top of that, he was not one to let an opportunity pass him buy. He hadn't gotten out of the most perilous of situations one could possibly find themselves into by not being the epitome of an opportunist. And so he did this time as well, using the momentary silence from Ruby to his advantage and making to run towards the dressing room where Illya was trying on clothes.

That was the plan.

But as it often happened with him, nothing went according to plan.

Instead of the sight of the little albino in the latest outfit she had been instructed to wear, he was flooded with a sense of foreboding and a dark, menacing aura. Gazing into the cold blue eyes of his grandson, filled with the most emotion he had ever seen them, there was only one thing Joseph Joestar could do.

Grabbing Ruby from where she was suspended in the air, he enacted his best plan to date.

" _Run away!"_

"ORA!"

Joseph felt Star Platinum's fist connect with his retreating back and, although he knew it to be a small fraction of the power the Stand could master, he still fell prone on the shiny tile of the store. Raising his head from the uncomfortable position, he was faced with black, shiny shoes and an immense pressure, coming from the sheer fury Jotaro was projecting. Swallowing, he began to stutter something, only for the slight furrowing of the brunette's brow halting his excuses before they could leave his mouth.

"Stand up old man. It would leave a bad taste in my mouth to pummel you till you've turned purple if you are not at least on your feet."

 _Oh my God…_ "Jotaro! Jotaro, wait! I can explain!"

"But it's not like I wouldn't get over it eventually."

With that last prompt, the old man got on his feet and raised his hands in front of himself defensively. "It's not what you think! Illya needed new clothes! I couldn't very well leave a young lady in the same, sweaty clothes she's been wearing all day!"

Jotaro cracked his knuckles. "You've been in here for three hours."

That gave Joseph a pause. "What?" Looking towards the stand of clothes, he took note of the giant pile of dresses, skirts and shirts that was there. _Three hours?!_ "Oh no! I didn't realize how quickly time passed! We must hurry, or we will miss the meeting with the SPW guys!"

"Old man, I fucking _swear_ -"

"Jotaro!' Polnareff's voice cut in, potentially saving Joseph from a fate worse than death. "Illya! Illya is…"

The Frenchman's voice trailed off and Joseph worriedly gazed at the little girl's direction. For her part, Illya was curled up in a tiny ball on the floor, her eyes wide in horror as she stared at a random blouse on the floor. He could make out her repeated muttering of "no more" if he strained his ears and, amidst the guilt, he couldn't help but stare at the Stand in his hand in triumph.

She had been the one to pick that particular piece of clothing after all.

* * *

Illya sighed in both relief and relative fatigue.

After that torturous shopping trip, Jotaro had grabbed some random pieces of clothing from the pile –literally just shoved his hand there and randomly pulled out whatever happened to fall in his grasp- and threw them towards the first cashier he encountered. Both Ruby and Mr. Joestar tried to protest, but one look from the terrifying teen had sent them both sulking outside. Discreetly, the cashier threw in a caftan-like garment, which Kakyoin-san had whispered to her quietly was called an _abaya_ and that she would be required to wear it for as long as they were remaining in this town, but could take it off as soon as they left Arabian soil.

Illya had done her best to conceal her shock- she harbored no illusions about still being in Japan, not after waking up in a dessert, but to learn just how far away had still sent her head reeling.

For the last time before they left, the albino went into the dressing rooms to put on a sleeveless, grey blouse with yellow, smiling faces on it that barely reached her navel and a pair of capris jeans with a thin pink ribbon at the hem. She had been uncertain whether she could put on her pants or not with Kakyoin-san's Stand around her leg, but he at least had the decency to let her dress in peace- which she really, really appreciated, seeing as it had been pretty awkward to try on all those clothes earlier. Then she proceeded to put on her socks and the pair of sneakers that had also been added to her purchases, seeing as her only other pair of shoes had been deemed unfit. With one last, dubious look at the light pink, but richly embroidered _abaya,_ she added that on as well and got out to where Polnareff and Kakyoin were waiting for her, the white-haired Frenchman holding a small bag with everything else Jotaro had thrown in.

"Ready to leave, Illya-chan?" the redhead smiled kindly at her, even as she felt the white appendage place itself around her ankle once more.

Forcing a smile, she nodded. "Yes, thank you very much."

"Then let's go."

She and Kakyoin made to walk towards the exit, when a large hand fell gently on the shoulder. Turning around, the albino tilted her head questioningly at the uncomfortable expression on the Frenchman's face. "Is there something wrong, Polnareff-san?"

"Um, I… here." Showing her his hand, which he had kept behind his back, he revealed a large, purple elastic hair band, with silver rhinestones and a small flower on it. "My… my sister had one similar to this when she was your age and I thought you might like it."

 _A sister… huh._ Without a word, the albino took the gift offered and sent Polnareff a wide smile. "Thank you, Polnareff-san! It is very pretty!"

For a moment the large man looked taken aback, before falling on his knees and covering his eyes.

"Polnareff!" their redheaded companion yelled, worried.

"S-so adorable…."

"Eh?" Kakyoin stopped mid-motion, his face going into a complete deadpan.

Illya flushed scarlet. "L-let's just go already!"

* * *

After all the drama was over, the small group finally reached their destination, a café- restaurant, in which they took lunch. Not too long after, two men dressed in uniforms and matching hats with "SPW" written in the front, approached their table. Mr. Joestar immediately greeted them and then began conversing with them in a low tone of voice. One, a blonde with a British accent, handed over to Mr. Joestar a pair of keys and a small stack of papers, along with a few hushed words that seemed to worsen the old man's mood. Illya didn't want to look as if she was trying to overhear, so she concentrated on her food, a local delicacy called murtabak. It was tasty enough as it was, with a nice combination of ground chicken, green onions and other herbs, as well as salt, potatoes and beaten eggs, all spread onto a delicious pancake-like base. To Illya, whose appetite had reached absurd levels due to the lack of energy, it tasted like heaven and she easily managed to choke down three before settling on a fourth, eating it at a slower pace. The albino pointedly ignored the strange glances she received from her companions, opting to fully take advantage of their hospitality as shamelessly as she could.

"Alright guys… and Illya." Mr. Joestar addressed everyone at the table, once the two men had left the café. Polnareff continued to shovel the murtabak in his mouth, but the rest raised their heads towards him. "I have arranged for a boat to take us to Egypt. We will cross the Red Sea and arrive at Egyptian soil in a matter of hours- five, or six at most. I'd prefer we leave as soon as possible, so eat up and let's get going!"

Illya nodded along with Jotaro and Kakyoin and began eating faster. _At least I can get some sleep in the boat… So tired._

"Old man."

"Yeah?" Mr. Joestar responded, not looking up from his papers.

"We will need a few things to replace those that were destroyed in the crash." Jotaro explained, placing his cutlery in the plate. "Supplies, for one. Even if the journey is short, we will need some food on board. Double the normal, since it appears the brat will be coming with us."

The albino flushed scarlet. "I resent that!"

"Really, Illya?" Polnareff lost no time in joining in. "Because I am pretty sure you are two of these things up than anyone else!"

"This won't do, Illya-san!" Ruby shot out of her hair and in front of her face like a missile. "You can't allow yourself to become fat! Everyone knows that a slim figure is the trademark of a Magical Girl!"

"W-well, it's not like I am not getting any exercise you know!"

"From now on I am placing you on a strict diet! I will not allow you to become the first obese Magical Girl in the industry!"

"There is no industry!"

"Not with _that_ attitude!"

"What is this even supposed to mean?"

"Now, now you two." Mr. Joestar placed a hand on Illya's shoulder. "Don't listen to them Illya! You are a growing girl, so just eat as much as you want!"

"Now listen here you old man-"

Ruby didn't quite get to finish that sentence, since the aforementioned old man smashed her on the table, making a dent on the flat surface. "So I am an old man, am I?" he asked through gritted teeth, twisting the Mystic Code around.

"Uh, Mr. Joestar…" Illya tried to calm both of them down. "You are attracting attention…"

"Eh?" His head snapping up, Mr. Joestar took in the other patrons giving him strange looks. "What are you idiots staring at, eh?" he yelled at the top of his lungs, making everyone turn back at their own table. The older man sighed and released the troublesome wand. Sitting back down, he grumpily continued his food, mumbling under his breath. Ruby, for her part, just huffed and returned in Illya's hair, choosing to remain silent for the time being. _They are like children…_ Illya thought, with a bead of sweat on her forehead, a notion that her companions seemed to be sharing, if she were to judge by the looks they had on their faces. Shrugging the small episode off, she finished her meal and sat back, for the moment feeling full and satisfied.

Noticing her glass of water still halfway full she reached for it and began gulping down the cool liquid, when her eye fell on the papers left on the table. One thing in particular made her fall violently forward in her chair, as she choked on the water. _What… is this…?_

"Illya!"

"Illya-chan!"

A large hand hit her on the back as water came out of her mouth. Illya felt tears stream down her eyes and she was unable to place whether they came from the coughing fit she was having, or what she had just read. _This is not right! This can't be right at all!_ The full weight of what was happening finally hit her and she became vaguely aware of the fact that she was going into hysterics as she tried to regain her breath.

After a few moments the coughing stopped, leaving her with a sore throat and feeling slightly nauseous. Polnareff offered her a glass of water, but she pushed it aside. _The date!_

"Illya-san!" the Mystic Code flew in front of her, frantic.

December 27th, nineteen eighty eight.

"Th-the date, it's-" she managed to choke out before her thought process became overwhelmed with the situation she was facing.

The typed letters swam into the forefront of her mind, blocking out anything else. This was insane. There was no way she could have traveled so far back in time!

_It seems that in Illya's case, the transportation affected time as well._

Rin-san's words in front of the rift now hit her like a boulder on her chest, as the terrifying truth of just how bad this was getting as the minutes passed dawned on her fully.

_If that's true, then… then I won't be able to…_

The faces of her friends and family appeared before her eyes as the albino tried to steady herself, sobs beginning to rack her tiny body. _I won't be able to- I won't-_

Warm hands pulled her close to a large figure. "Illya! Illya, are you alright?"

Illya opened her mouth to answer, only for her nausea to take over. Without having enough time to utter a single word, the albino doubled over and emptied her stomach on the wooden floor and Mr. Joestar's boots.

"Illya-san!"

Her partner's terrified shriek and Polnareff rushing forward to catch her as her knees buckled was the last things she perceived before everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So... that happened. Tune in for the next chapter, where things actually happen and everyone gets to properly abuse Ruby.
> 
> Thanks for reading and we hope you enjoyed!


	6. Welcome To The Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a genie in a bottle  
> You gotta rub me the right way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally on FF.net
> 
> A/N: This story is written by SuperNova23 ( u/2817228/SuperNova23) and I, so go check out his stories as well!
> 
> A/N 2: I do, in fact, have an excellent excuse about being the sole one responsible for not updating the last week. Also expect gaps in updates for a while, since exams are beginning and I have a ton of papers I am not working on for school. So, I apologize in advance!
> 
> A/N 3: Extra-super-special-awesome-chocolate-fudged-gift-wrapped-supercalifragilisticexpialidocious shout out for SuperNova23 for being the best co-writer ever! Merry Christmas! :D
> 
> Disclaimer: We don't own JoJo's Bizarre Adventure or Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya. If we did, no one would believe such attrocious lies like Santa not being real.

* * *

Illya felt something cool being placed gently on her forehead, but the small burst of semi-consciousness didn't last for very long. Her body was heavy and it was as if weights had been placed on her limbs, making moving all but impossible.

Her mind wasn't faring any better.

Thinking was almost painful to her. The weight of the new information she had received seemed to have turned her ability to form coherent thoughts off completely and all she could do to keep from falling was latch onto the little comfort dreams would provide. Strange, colorful dreams that sometimes resembled memories that ended all too soon.

_What is… happening to me…_

Sometimes she seemed to be at the verge of waking up, but that simply brought out the fatigue she felt more, causing the albino to wish to return to her unconscious state. At times she could make out voices, or that she was being moved, but it was as if she was in a closed-off space, separate from the rest of the world.

She had messed this up.

She had been careless.

She was all alone, with no way to go back to Kuro and Miyu.

With no way to keep any of the promises she had made, sixteen years away from her time, in an entirely different world, most likely en route to an entirely different sort of danger, facing enemies like that reaper clown.

The memories of that battle were almost as terrifying as the prospect of death they had awakened.

_This world… what is this place? How will I get back from here?_

She could sense wetness on her face and gentle hands wiping it away.

_I want… I want to go home…_

* * *

_I finally got revenge for the murder of my sister, but at the cost of Avdol's life. There is nothing I can do about it now… No way to make it up to his father… How depressing…_

Jean Pierre Polnareff really, really wished they had not made the detour to the small island.

He was currently seated on a flat rock at the beach, a few hundred meters away from the house where the old hermit lived. The sunset was lovely- but it was also the last thing the Frenchman cared about at that moment. Normally, it was a sight he enjoyed, but the situation before him took up all the room in his mind, leaving out simple pleasures such as that.

At least, until the light of the setting sun hit on something half-buried in the sand, attracting his eye. The white-haired man stood and picked up what appeared to be a golden Arabian lamp, much like the one in that fairy tale whose name kept eluding him.

"This is pretty neat. Did it come from a sunken ship or something?" he muttered, before scratching off some of the filth on it. "It's covered in barnacles… and it looks like it's made of gold but- what!" The front side of the lamp, as he rubbed it clean, revealed a demonic visage right below the cap. "There is a face carved onto it! Maybe it's worth something! Let's see if I can rub these barnacles off…"

The guilt-ridden, but clearly no less greedy, Frenchman began rubbing the side of the lamp excitedly. A short-lived excitement that turned to abject terror as the potential money source was engulfed into a brilliant pink light, burning his palms. Polnareff instinctively tried to let go of it, only to find himself unable to do so.

"W-what the hell!"

With a last burst of energy from the lamp, Polnareff was thrown violently on his back. Instinctively, he jumped back on his feet using his hands as leverage, unwilling to play the role of a sitting duck to any potential enemy that might have tried to take advantage of the blinding light. Blinking a few times to clear his eyes, he took in the sight of the beach being remarkably undisturbed by the sudden commotion, with no obvious perpetrator other than the troublesome item itself, now once more nestled in a small hole on the sand made by its fall.

"I-it's gone! What the hell was that! Did the air trapped inside suddenly burst out?" With no adequate explanation jumping to mind, he sighed in slight relief- and a bit of disappointment. "I guess it's not like it's Aladdin's Magic Lamp or anything like that, but it sure gave me a good scare…"

No sooner had the words left his mouth however, that a sudden burst of energy made the Frenchman painfully aware of a new presence standing behind him. He instantly whirled around, to come face to face with whoever thought that his crappy mood made him a good choice of an opponent.

_I could use a punching bag anyway._

He most definitely did not expect three finger-like metallic appendages to be shoved in his face, thus doing the only thing that jumped to the forefront of his mind.

He screamed.

"Three!"

" _AH!"_

"Just three!"

Polnareff screamed louder than before. Before him stood a large silver humanoid _thing_ , with greenish eyes that resembled those of a fly and what appeared to be a piece of a round helmet "decorating" the right side of its head.

"I'll grant your wishes! Tell me the three things you desire the most!"

"W-what the hell is this?"

This particular day was turning out to be full of surprises for the poor French.

* * *

When consciousness did finally come, it came like a bucket full of frozen water hitting her in the face.

Literally, as it turned out.

With a screech that could easily bust most normal human eardrums, Illyasviel von Einzbern re-entered the world of the living with a bang.

And a splash.

"Ah! I am so sorry Illya! That stupid hag got in the way and I lost my footing! Please forgive me!"

If there was one word with which Illya would describe Joseph Joestar at that moment, it would be _loud._ Too loud for her to handle with the headache she was experiencing.

"It's fine…" she muttered, before the door was kicked open.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she shifted the basin currently decorating her head so that she could see again.

"Mr. Joestar! What's going on!"

Her apparent caretaker, to Illya's slight annoyance, grinned apologetically at the man that had entered the room in panic, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. _This one's new…_ A dark-skinned man of similar built to Mr. Joestar, dressed in matching cream-colored shirt and pants, with a heavy red overcoat and orange scarf. A heavy-looking necklace was hanging from his ears, with various symbols carved on the golden surface and three silver bracelets on each wrist. Perhaps the more peculiar thing about the man though was his strange hair, styled in several cylindrical buns on the top of his head that ended in a short ponytail and a headband. Two identical scars run down his cheeks, giving him a more threatening appearance, or at least that's what it would be like, if he wasn't looking in exasperation at Mr. Joestar.

Finally taking note of the albino's scrutiny, he schooled his features into a polite smile and walked closer to her bed, extending his hand.

"Hello Illya, I am Muhammad Avdol." he introduced himself, gripping her own hand firmly but gently. "It is nice to finally meet you."

For her part, the white-haired Magical Girl managed a small smile back at him. "Nice to meet you, Avdol-san. Ah, I see you already know my name, so…"

"Indeed. I heard a lot about you from everyone." he replied laughingly. "I find your Stand particularly entertaining."

_I am not sure if that's a good thing…_

The thought intensified as she noticed Ruby inch slightly farther away from the man in fear. Interestingly enough, the obnoxious Mystic Code's feathers seemed to be slightly singed at their ends. Illya felt a drop of sweat at the back of her head. _What happened here while I was out?_

"At any rate," Mr. Avdol turned to look at the older man, "I believe I should go find Polnareff. Honestly Mr. Joestar, you could have told him that it was me. Although I admit I was curious to see if he has grown at all since India…"

"And? Are you satisfied, Avdol?"

The dark-skinned man sighed. "I am not sure, but I guess I should give the idiot the benefit of the doubt."

Mr. Joestar chuckled. "Well said my friend. Now, I believe Illya may want to change out of her soaked clothes, before her fever goes up again."

"Right, right. I'll let Jotaro and Kakyoin know that you just messed things up again, so they don't worry."

"You are too mean!" the American pouted.

At the mention of the redheaded student, Illya's eyes snapped to her leg, finding herself free of the appendage. Maybe he had thought that she was harmless while unconscious, or that Mr. Joestar would be able to handle her, if she proved herself a threat. Either way, relief washed over her at the apparent freedom afforded to her for the time being. It sure felt better not to worry about a body snatcher…

"Now then, Illya! Time to get changed!"

"Eh?"

The huge man quickly pulled out of her bag a jean skirt and a pink t-shirt with a heart of the same color on it. Illya felt her breath catch at her throat, as flashbacks from their time at the hellhole called "mall" came back to her in full.

"Stay away from me!"

"Hm? Come on Illya, you can't stay in these clothes, you'll get sick again! It's fine, if they don't look good enough, there are a few more choices."

And he wasn't lying. Looking down on herself for the first time, she found out she was out of the clothes she had picked for herself in the store and was instead wearing a male shirt that could probably fit in five or six Illyas. However she'd much prefer the fever than going through the clothe mania in which the old man had proven himself prone to.

"Never again!" she yelled passionately, her eyes shining with determination.

"Now, now, don't be such a baby!" Joseph Joestar frowned and she could recognize the kind of stubbornness in his voice. It was the same one Sella would have when any of her charges –including Leys- tried to sneak away from their arranged responsibilities. The albino prepared herself for the mental battle that she knew would ensue, accepting the fact that if she wanted to be treated as more than a mannequin for the rest of her stay in this world, she'd have to fight for it.

Joseph Joestar thought to himself: _I don't know what came over her, but I am not about to let a little lady dress in anything less than the best._

Illyasviel von Einzbern thought to herself: _If worse comes to worse, I can always transform and fly away._

Battle start.

* * *

"What's that? There's a weird clinking sound."

The clinking noise that came from behind the bushes he threw the suspicious lamp in halted the Frenchman in his tracks. Hesitantly, he turned around and walked towards the bush from which the noise had originated, prepared to fight if it turned out to be an enemy. What he found instead made him shriek in surprise –in a very manly way, thank you very much- as he took instinctively a step back. Regaining his bearings quickly, he knelt on the hard ground and took in the sight in disbelief. There, on the sand, he saw sparkling golden coins and the hilt of a half-buried sword.

"This- This can't be!" he muttered, digging in the sand with his bare hands and easily –maybe a tad bit _too_ easily-, he uncovered a huge treasure chest, filled to the brim with Napoleonic gold and other valuables. Raising one coin closer to his face for further inspection, he felt his breath catch in his throat, as the priceless artifact seemed to be genuine. Just a handful of those could get him a decent sum of money. In this amount? Mr. Joestar wouldn't be the only insanely rich person traveling to Egypt.

Was it truly possible? That his wish had come true?

"Are you mocking me?" the white-haired man yelled towards the sky, certain that the "genie" was perfectly able to hear him. The coins fell from his hand back to the pile. _No… if he had wanted to mock me, he would have buried this beforehand, but he didn't have so much time after I made my wish. How did he bring it here?_

This was getting spooky.

"Tell me your second wish!" the same, almost mechanical voice said quietly, startling him. "It shall be granted."

Whirling around, Polnareff found the "genie" waiting on top of the palm tree at his back, _like a fucking creep,_ making him instantly jump to his feet, suspicion still strong. However, after that small display, the Frenchman could feel hope hesitantly blossoming, but he tried to remain cautious. After all, the possibility of this being a Stand attack was too high to be ignored… right? _And if he turns out to be a true genie,_ a small part of him whispered, _then I will finally be able to make it up to them._

"You bastard! What kind of stunt are you trying to pull? You can't fool me with this! If you are an enemy Stand then act like it and fight me!" he pointed angrily at the thing, trying to goad it into revealing its true colours. "I'll take the treasure and leave, if you don't!"

The self-proclaimed genie stared at him for a full minute, during which Polnareff didn't move. He was uncertain why he didn't- he should have. This was some sort of trap, or maybe even a dream. Three, no, two undeniable wishes. There was no way this was happening.

And yet, the user of Silver Chariot did not move an inch from his spot, nor did he make any attempt to goad the silver creature on top of the palm tree any further.

Eventually, it broke the silence. "Is the answer to that question your second wish?" it scoffed. "Do you really want to make such a boring wish? As thanks for freeing me from my lamp, I will grant you any wish."

Polnareff gritted his teeth. _He is screwing with me. Bastard's screwing with me!_ Then again… "Y-you asshole… Fine! In that case… make me… a cartoonist! It's been my childhood dream! I wanna be bigger than Disney, not just some nobody! I'll build a Polnareffland!"

Ah, he could see it! A theme park centered on Silver Chariot and himself, covered in bright lights and candy and laughing children! It was brilliant!

…

A sentiment clearly not shared by the genie of the lamb, seeing as it looked so unimpressed Polnareff felt its disapproval was beginning to have a physical effect on him. _Oh fine._

"W-wait a second! Just hold on!"

Turning his back on the thing, Polnareff poured his everything into making his second wish as impressive as possible. _Bingo!_ The prospect of finding his destined soul mate filled him with a warm, sugary feeling, like eating freshly made cotton candy for the first time! Ah, how they would dance under the Eiffel Tower and the beautiful lights that illuminated the streets at night, while road musicians sang of love! "Actually, a girlfriend would be pretty sweet! More than wealth and fame… I want love! I want her to be cute and for us to be bound by the red string of fate! I need a girl who feels exactly like I do!" As if a switch had been turned, the Frenchman's eyes turned wrathful, as he aggressively posed at the genie's general direction. "Do it now if you think you can, asshole!"

The white-haired man was uncertain if being unamused could be used to actually attack someone, but the silvery thing was definitely trying. "A girl huh? I can do that."

"N-no, wait, I am having second thoughts again!"

If its insect-like turquoise eyes could melt him by glaring alone, Polnareff knew he'd be a pool of French goo on the sand.

Staring down towards the golden coins, the Frenchman allowed the hope that had been steadily growing within himself to manifest. _After all, if he really is a genie… nothing should be beyond its abilities, right?_

Taking a deep breath, Jean-Pierre Polnareff raised his head and made the wish that had been eating away at him since the violent death of his beloved sister.

* * *

Illya blinked in surprise. Once, twice.

Her eye twitched as she took in the sight before her, realization slowly dawning on her.

_I am going to be killed. I am going to be killed and it is all_ her _fault._

One moment she was ready to run away from the clothe-maniac, the next his eyes rolled back into his skull and he fell face-first on the floor, revealing a certain Mystic Code behind him. The gold, pink-feathered devil stood above the now-unconscious body of the elder Joestar, an overpowering aura of self-satisfaction emanating from her floating form. A large syringe with the remnants of a bright green liquid still obvious was now in place of her handle, a few droplets falling on the shirt of the very much knocked out Joseph.

"Phew. That should give us some time alone, Illya-san."

The voice of her nemesis broke the silence and forced the albino out of her state of utter terror.

"W-what did you do that for? Do you have even the slightest idea-"

"Hush now Illya-san, it wouldn't do to alert the others. They are just outside the door you know."

"Just-outside- _are you insane?"_ Illya whisper-yelled at her partner, her eyes going wide.

"Illya-san, please, this is serious." the unusually sober tone of Ruby's voice gave her Master a pause. With a hesitant look, the albino sat back on the bed and pulled the blanket's dry part over her shoulders, trying to get some warmth back into her body. "Thank you. Now, don't worry about the geezer on the floor. My… medicine will only knock him down for a couple of minutes, enough so that he won't even realize he was out. There are a few things I need you to know and since they wouldn't give us any time alone otherwise I had to make some."

Illya nodded. "And what is it that you want to tell me?"

"While you were passed out, these unbelievably rude young –and not so young- men had the nerve to question me. It was all very unsavory I tell you! That is no way to treat a lady such as myself, especially that big brute- but I digress. The point is, I told them some things and it is paramount that our stories match."

Suspicion slowly bloomed into Illya's mind as she stared at the magical stick. "Ruby? What did you do?"

"Please understand Illya-san. It is of great importance that you do not tell anyone a thing about where you really come from."

"You want me to lie?"

"Yes. It is important that you do."

"But-"

"Illya-san." The seriousness displayed by the Mystic Code was unnerving. Ruby was never serious about anything- not unless the situation was truly grave. "There is a very real possibility we have landed in the middle of a very dangerous battle in a very dangerous world. The magic here is different… unnatural."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"Don't interrupt me and you'll know! Honestly, your manners can be truly atrocious at times Illya-san!" Ruby scolded, instantly reverting to her usual personality.

_You are the one in a hurry and yet you have time to scold me!_ "Fine, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted! Now, where were we… ah yes!" The speed at which Ruby went back into serious and moody was slightly disturbing, but the albino chose to not comment on it. "The mana here feels… of a different composition, to put it in simple terms. It is less and at the same time more potent than the one in our own world. I ran some tests on it and it appears as if there is an unknown component that differentiates it from the usual brand, so to speak. Spread thin and seemingly "clinging" on certain things, humans included, rather than being everywhere at the same time. If only I had more time to determine how its functionality varies from the usual ways our mana behaves…"

"In Japanese please."

"Huh? Oh yes, pardon me Illya-san, I got a bit lost in thought. You could imagine it as suddenly finding yourself in very high altitude pressure from sea level pressure. Thankfully, it isn't as bad as it could be or who knows what would happen to someone with your Magic Circuits- oh, I shudder to think it! As things stand, please imagine yourself suddenly on top of Mount Fuji, but without proper equipment to withstand it."

"…Wouldn't I die in that case?'

"No, but it would be very painful."

Illya raised her eyebrow.

"Oh fine, maybe. But that is beside the point. You see Illya-san, right now imagine this happening to you but instead of oxygen, it is mana that you lack. Someone like you, whose body functions under entirely different laws of magic needs a lot of time to adapt to this sudden change. You may have noticed yourself- you need a lot more food to sustain yourself and you are fatigued at the best of times, let alone what happens when you are under constant emotional duress as you seem to have been for a while. I'd say you should be fine in a few days, at best. At worst, this will have some sort of side effect on you that will probably involve a decrease or complete halt in your ability to use magic, as some damage to your Circuits is definitely within the realm of possibility."

The more Ruby spoke, the more Illya felt nausea dangerously returning. _A few days… to stop using magic…_ "Ruby, what are you saying?" she whispered, her voice barely audible even to herself. She was unable to restrain the tears that had gathered in her eyes and for a second time since she arrived in this new world, Illya let them fall. "We need to go back! I promised I'd help save Miyu and Julian and the world! We can't stay here! We can't just leave everyone behind!"

"Please Illya-san, you must be quiet!" her partner begged. "The drug should wear off any minute now and I must still inform you of what you need to say!"

"No! No, you don't understand, we must-" A sharp pain to the top of her head left her frozen, words dying in her throat. Turning her head, she saw Ruby standing right in front of her, almost as if the damn Mystic Code was _looking down_ on her.

"Illya-san." Ruby's voice was cold. Illya couldn't quite remember ever hearing her using such a tone- with her or anyone else. "There is no time for you to act like that right now. Do you remember what Kuro-san told you on top of the school?"

A small gasp escaped the albino and she lowered her head in shame, all of her previous anger snuffed like candle fire. "I am sorry, Ruby. I-"

"There is no time for that now." her partner cut in. "Illya-san, I am sorry to say this, but there is currently no way for us to return home. Even back where we first woke up, there was nothing to indicate a possible route there. It is a grim view, but please, do not lose hope just yet. Given some time I am certain that the writers will come up with some ridiculous and far-fetched plan for us to go back!"

"…What are you talking about?"

"Nothing~"

Illya had long since learned that when Ruby made nonsensical comments like that it was better to not inquire too far into it, so she let it go. "Now what?"

"Now we wait. I only know that we are heading to Egypt, but no one would tell me why. But based on what we've already heard, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that something bad is about to happen. After all, I don't imagine you forgot about what we encountered upon our arrival here, have you?" Without giving her a chance to reply, Ruby continued. "My point is, we are in the middle of something very dangerous and you will need time before you are able to return to full power. I believe the best course of action right now is to simply play along until we can find a way out of here. Now, as for what I want you to remember…"

The albino listened carefully to the details Ruby was giving her, nodding her approval –or raging her disapproval quietly at the parts where the despicable thing had decided to allow her imagination to run wild- as she began unbuttoning her sodden shirt. _I wonder who this belongs to… Maybe - oh no._

"Ruby?"

"Illya-san, I just told you I dislike interrupting!"

"Ruby, how long has it been since you gave Mr. Joestar your suspicious medicine?" the albino demanded, ignoring the Mystic Code's protests. To her rising panic, Ruby didn't immediately respond with "less than two minutes". The prolonged silence was beginning to get on her nerves, when Ruby slowly moved towards the unconscious man and poked him slightly on the head.

"Oh my, it seems there may have been some miscalculation… I gave him exactly half the lethal dose for an averagely-sized ox, so I don't understand why-"

" _What is wrong with you!"_

* * *

"There is too much quiet coming from the brat's room, isn't there?" Jotaro asked as he was laying on the sofa, arm thrown over his eyes.

"I am certain they are alright. Besides," Kakyoin closed his book and set it to the seat next to him, "I am more worried about Polnareff. He's been out for too long."

The brunette opposite from him exhaled loudly. "He should be fine. Avdol went to get him."

The silence went from meaningful, to awkward to downright panicked in less than a minute as both teens jumped from their seats. "I'll look around the house, you go get the old man." Jotaro ordered grimly.

"Right." Kakyoin nodded his approval and began towards the room's door.

* * *

Joseph Joestar was, contrary to popular belief, a man who lived by some rules.

First of all, nothing was more important than his little Holy.

Second of all, he only loved his Suzie Q (except that one time he confused the city Holy lived in with some other Japanese city, because everything those damn Japs made just looked _exactly the same_ , and we don't talk about that).

Third, if you ever wake up face-first on a floor and you are not sure how you got there, play dead for a few minutes. One can never be sure if the reason you ended up in such a condition wasn't waiting still to ensure you are dead.

Fourth rule, always have a plan.

Clearly, Joseph thought, this is a situation very conveniently suited to the third rule. The fact that the floor was rather inconvenient shouldn't deter him from following through with it.

And so, Joseph Joestar was rewarded for his adherence to his strange rules with a very interesting piece of conversation.

His mind was still trying to work out the meaning of what he heard, when he felt the light touch of Illya's Stand poking his head. Doing his best to not alert her to the fact he was conscious and had been so for a while, the old man waited for a few more moments before letting out a groan.

"Ah, see Illya-san, I told you everything would be fine!"

Joseph gritted his teeth. _Half the lethal dose for an averagely-sized ox eh? You crazy little…I'll show you…_

"Mr. Joestar, are you alright?" the worried voice of the little girl under his care snapped him out of vengeful thoughts that contained clackers and a hammer. Schooling his expression into suitable confusion, he looked innocently around.

"Hm, Illya? What happened?"

"Eh? Uh… you… you fell!"

"I fell?" he raised an eyebrow. The albino was clearly not accustomed to lying. The more mischievous side of him would normally play along until she tripped over herself, but he decided against it. He was certainly not in the mood to tease her right now.

"Y-yes! You see, I was just about to get help and-"

"Mr. Joestar, we have a proble- what are you doing?"

The sudden intrusion by the redhead was clearly not unwelcome from either the girl, or Ruby. With a sigh, the old man got to his feet and stared back at the albino with a smile. "Why don't you get dressed Illya? I will be right back."

"R-right!"

Kakyoin tapped his arm. "Mr. Joestar, it is urgent."

"Yes, yes, honestly, you Japanese people are so tense…"

As he was led outside, the redhead turned around to look at the child. "I am glad to see you're back up Illya-chan. Please, if you need to eat something, you can pick whatever you want from the kitchen, it's no trouble."

A mumbled thanks and a closed door later, Joseph turned to look at his grandson's friend. "What's wrong?"

"Polnareff and Avdol are still not back."

With a sigh, the old man went towards the door. _Truly, there is no rest for the wicked…_

* * *

"Ch-Cherie…"

A name he never thought he'd have a reason to speak again outside his memories. His revenge was complete, at the cost of Avdol's life. And even if her murderer was rotting in some nameless hole in India, the pain of her loss hadn't abated a single bit. He had tried to give himself a new purpose in following through with this journey, in facing Dio to regain his stolen pride, however it was still his beloved little sister's smile as he gave her her new umbrella and saw her off that haunted him each night.

And now he finally had her back.

"Is- Is it really you?" He could barely make out her form behind the tall plants. "It's you, isn't it?"

He made to take another step, but a pair of exotic-looking birds suddenly flew up towards his face and he had to dodge them. When his gaze returned to where his sister was standing a second ago she had already left. He could hear her running through the plants. _Why is she running from me?_ "Where are you going? Where are you going Cherie?"

Why was she running from him? Did she not recognize him?

"It's me! Please, wait! Why are you running away Cherie?"

He felt desperate. He sounded desperate too. Why was she running away from him?

Her laughter as he spun her around when she was only a little girl.

And her smile the last time he ever saw her.

"Cherie! Cherie!"

She had finally come back home. He wouldn't lose her again.

In his haste, the Frenchman didn't notice a pair of exotic birds, eerily similar to those that had startled him previously, staring at him with empty eyes, their heads torn away from their broken bodies.

* * *

Illya was a bit surprised to find the house empty, at least not after the way Ruby had made things out to be. She wondered briefly if she should look for the shower, but the decision was made by her stomach and she headed towards the kitchen instead. Rummaging through the fridge she found a few slices of yellow cheese and mayonnaise and, concluding that simpler was faster, she made two sandwiches and headed outside. Finding a nice spot at the front step –and away from the chickens- the albino took a bite from her sandwich. There was a pleasant breeze and for a while she concentrated on her food completely, staring up at the sky.

The last time she had sat outside to look at the moon with someone was with Rin-san.

She wondered what everyone was doing.

_Going crazy, probably. Maybe they'll think I'm a prisoner again._

She felt guilt at the thought. Here she was, safe and sound –at least for now- while everyone was probably worried sick because of her. Her fingers tightened around the bread and she took another bite, this time slightly more aggressively than necessary.

"Say, Ruby?"

"Hm?"

"Does that mean that right now I can't transform at all?"

"On the contrary, but it would be very tiresome for you. You've been out for several hours already and that helps, but your body is still weak from the transfer. I am starting to think that the battle with that despicable clown may have done more damage than I originally calculated. It is truly amazing how you manage to accumulate damage so fast that I can barely keep up my healing. You are a slave-driver Illya-san!"

"Ahaha, I am sorry…"

She felt a pink feather pat her comfortingly behind the ear, in that special Ruby way that somehow always felt as if disaster was imminent. "No worries Illya-san, I am certain I will think of something for you to repay me with~"

_That didn't sound threatening at all…_ "Then why don't you feel sick?" the albino demanded, genuinely curious. "You seem fine."

"I am a tool specifically designed from that despicable old geezer- you are lucky to never have met that old man, he is such a know-it-all and frankly without cause, I mean, sure, he does have some superior knowledge to most magi but he isn't _that_ big a deal…"

_This is not what I asked you though…_ Illya continued to patiently wait for Ruby's sudden burst of rage –complete with inappropriate epithets about some marshal warlock or another- to run its course, opting to finish her food before her partner made some obnoxious reveal that would have her spit everything back out.

It took a full five minutes, give or take, for the rant to end.

"- with a goddamn _pig_! Phew. It's good to have that out of my chest." Wiping a bit of sweat from the upper part of her ruby-encrusted ring, the Mystic Code turned her attention to her Master. "What did you ask me Illya-san? I am afraid I got myself lost in thought again."

_I am not surprised this is how your thoughts normally go…_ "Why aren't you sick?" she repeated. "If I am affected, shouldn't you be as well?"

"Ah, what an excellent question! Nothing less should be expected from my adorable Master~" Ruby congratulated her. "Well, as I was saying, I am a tool specifically designed to handle mana from several different worlds at once. It is the reason I boast an infinite supply of magical energy, although my output is always dependent on my user's capabilities. So, while in this world the mana is so very different, I am able to filter it to suit my own needs with relative ease. Although I do admit, I don't believe this new world is something even that disgusting creator of mine has ever gazed into. It is all so bizarre!"

"True. Those Stand things and everything… it's a bit overwhelming."

"Nonsense!"

"Eh?"

"Don't you see what is happening Illya-san? Oh this is better than I could have ever dreamed! It's even better than a dream come true, it is the precious reality that we should have been a part of from the beginning!"

_I will regret asking this, I just know it!_ "What do you mean? You know that we can't abandon the others at this point!"

"Forget the others!"

"What do you mean forget the others!"

"Don't you see Illya-san! Your terrible luck and mediocre intellect are constantly throwing you into situations that no normal human should survive-"

"A-Aren't you being a bit too honest…!"

"-but this once you have finally done something right! You have managed to throw yourself into a shounen anime!"

_W-whaaaat!_

"Yes!" Ruby continued, unperturbed by her unfortunate Master's terrified face. "This is indeed excellent work Illya-san, well done! You have managed to ruin everything for everyone, but you have done it magnificently! The Magical Girl genre is clearly the superior one of course, otherwise I would simply refuse to star in such a thing-"

"What are you going on about!"

"-but this works so very well! I mean, most of the time love interests in Magical Girl anime share more similarities with that ludicrous, ludicrous thing from that other anime that poses as a human, which is honestly offensive, but now we can finally have a _real_ man play the part!"

_I really don't like where this is going!_ "Ruby-"

"Silence! I have so much work to do! Now you sit here and get some nutrients my Master, while I go through their personal stuff to determine rankings!"

The sudden explosion of panic made her chest tighten almost painfully. "No! Come back you crazy wand!"

* * *

"Cherie! Cherie, please, why are you running away? It's me, your big brother!"

He was certain, this couldn't possibly be a trick. There wasn't even any moonlight to help him see clearly through the strange wild-flowers, but he could tell. He could _feel_ it, this was his Cherie, his sweet little sister that he had missed so dearly.

This felt right. This felt more right than when he had to look at that mangled corpse, her face still set in a mask of terror.

But now he had fixed it.

"Because… I am covered in dirt…" she sobbed. "And my hair's all messed up…"

Her voice too, was exactly right, just as he remembered it. _Silly. As if those things ever mattered._ Polnareff could feel tears gathering, but he didn't care. Men don't cry, his _papa_ had told him once, when he was very little, before Cherie was more than a toddler, but he was certain it was alright, this one time.

"Don't worry about that, Cherie! No matter how filthy you are, I'll still love you."

Why did she worry so much about such things? She was finally alive and well. He just wanted her to look at him. Why wouldn't she just turn to look at him?

Her sobbing had become worse- he couldn't stand it. He wanted to hear her laugh just one more time. No, many times. _That's right. We can go home. We can go home and start again. Fuck Dio and Egypt. Everything will be fine._

"Why are you crying? Why are you sad, Cherie?" he asked her gently, moving closer. The clouds obscuring the moon moved away, moonlight finally revealing his baby sister's form.

It was her. Truly her, the only thing different than that fateful morning was that her smile was gone. It was impossible to contain his happiness anymore and as he brought his hands to his cheeks, Polnareff was certain that he'd collapse sobbing himself from the sheer joy of seeing her alive once again.

"Cherie…" he choked out before rapidly closing the distance between them and reaching out to touch her.

"No!"

He immediately stopped on his tracks. _Eh?_

"No, you can't! Don't come near me!" she repeated urgently, turning her face away.

"B-but why? What's this about?"

"Because… you'll hate me."

Polnareff blinked in surprise before smiling. _Just a silly misunderstanding._ "Hate you? Have I ever once said I hated you?"

"You have… when we were children, I gave your tropical fish to the cat." she explained between sobs. "You were really angry and said you hated me."

The Frenchman couldn't help the soft smile that crept up his lips. He couldn't really understand where all that was coming from, but it didn't matter. His little Cherie was crying and all he cared about was making all her sadness go away, to hear her laugh once more. _Maybe her thoughts are still jumbled,_ he tried to reason with himself. _People don't just come back from death unscathed._ So long as she didn't resent him for not saving her that horrible day, everything else he could handle. "Yeah, I was angry then, but in truth I always loved you." he tried to console her. "Even right now!"

"Really? You've always loved me?" she sounded hesitant, like a small girl.

"Of course I have!"

"You'll love me no matter what?"

"Yes, I'll always loved you." he confirmed. "Cherie… I can't believe it's really you. You'll never know how much I missed you!"

"Yeah… I feel the same big brother."

He couldn't stand it anymore. He could hear the smile in her voice, so if she'd just turn around… "Cherie, please, look at me." he finally pleaded. "Please, show me your face."  
She made to turn but stopped as another sob racked her body.

"Why are you crying? Why are you sad?" he asked, unable to keep his voice from breaking.

"Sad? No, big brother. I am not crying because I am sad…"

"Huh? Then…"

"Because big brother… _I am so happy to finally get a taste of you!"_

_What?_

As Cherie finally turned to face him, she was smiling. But it wasn't the smile of his memories, but a cruel one, full of mad glee. While one of her eyes was the same shade of blue as his, the other was as if it belonged to some hellish demon, all red and surrounded by rotten flesh.

And as her teeth sank into the junction between his shoulder and neck and he fell backwards in shock, he noticed for the first time that his Cherie was completely naked.

_That numbskull… She will catch a cold._

* * *

"Where the hell did Polnareff wander off to…" Joseph muttered, worry sipping into his voice.

"Not up there."

As if in perfect sync with his thoughts, Jotaro jumped off the yacht that had brought them to the small island, his eyes obscured by the visor of his cap.

"It's pretty dark now." Kakyoin agreed. "Where could he have gone?"

"It couldn't be an enemy, could it?" his grandson finally voiced what was running through everyone's minds for the past few minutes. They weren't outside that long, maybe a good fifteen minutes, give or take, but there wasn't a trace of the Frenchman anywhere on the coast. Joseph didn't consider it impossible exactly for the young man to have lost himself somewhere in the inner part of the island, but they couldn't go in after him blindly either. They had found no tracks or anything indicating towards where Polnareff had ran off to and the older man feared that the only thing they could do right now was wait and hope that either Polnareff would find his way back to Avdol's house, or that the Egyptian himself would manage to do it for him.

But the thought of an enemy Stand user hiding here was disconcerting. There was no reason for anyone to set a trap for them in an abandoned island on the opposite direction from Egypt, where they had made no secret of heading towards. In fact, Joseph had made a show out of it, hoping to deter any potential Stand users from following them, in the process giving his enemies the clear advantage- or so they were meant to believe. How could anyone find them then? There was no way a boat had made its way to this place while they were travelling and escape their notice in the open ocean.

_He probably got himself lost. Polnareff is a good guy but not the brightest apple in the bunch._

Reassuring himself with such thoughts wasn't very reassuring however, especially with a secondary problem buzzing around in his skull and not letting go.

There _had_ been an unexpected addition to the team. _After all,_ he thought, giving Kakyoin a side-glance, _Dio doesn't exactly ask for permission._

If someone as calm and collected as Avdol and Kakyoin had almost collapsed in fear, he shuddered to think what would happen to a little girl like Illya if she ever had to come face to face with their ancient foe.

Was it possible that the albino was some sort of sleeper agent? She wasn't lying when she had said that she didn't know who Dio was, but at the same time her Stand was persistent that they keep some things secret, for no reason that he had been able to overhear.

And he had every reason to believe that whatever the duo was hiding from them was something that, at least for Illya and Ruby, was very important. At the very least, important enough that the obnoxious Stand had endangered them both to warn the albino to just "play along". He was uncertain how to handle the situation and Joseph entertained the idea of talking about it to Jotaro and Kakyoin, before rejecting it. Not that he didn't trust the two, in fact they were very reliable young men, however they could be rush and violent at times and he didn't want to provoke either. The redhead seemed particularly suspicious of the child and while joseph had decided to not comment on it, he couldn't help but wonder if Kakyoin knew something and why wasn't he willing to talk about it.

Either way, until _they_ made contact, he would pretend to not know anything was off, he decided. It was better this way and maybe Illya would open up on her own in the meantime.

"Old man. Move."

His grandson's stern voice brought him back to reality. "I'll be right there!"

* * *

Pointless.

It was pointless to resist.

Cherie and Avdol would eat him alive and it was only fair that that was the way things would end for him. He hadn't protected Cherie and he might as well have killed Avdol himself, back in India, so if it was them that killed him… it was only fair, right?

_Huh?_

Polnareff blinked the tears away in confusions, the fact that two of the people he valued most were tearing into him with their teeth momentarily, because for a fleeting second he caught a glimpse of a _second_ Avdol.

_What? Are my eyes so blurry that I am seeing double? I thought… I thought I saw two Avdols._ Rubbing the blood off his eye, he let a chuckle escape him. _But of course there is only one dirt doll. If I am hallucinating, I guess it means death is finally coming. I've lost a lot of blood… I am definitely seeing things… Well, I guess this is it… I am tapping out early… Mr. Joestar, Jotaro, Kakyoin… I pray for your victory. Avdol, for you I will atone in the next world… Huh?_

As he concluded his goodbyes and with the picture of his dear friend in front of him, Polnareff practically jolted back up despite his injuries.

For the dirt doll that was Avdol's soul returning for vengeance was being held back by a suspiciously tanned hand, with an incredibly familiar set of silver bracelets adorning the wrist.

And an even more conspicuous Avdol head showing itself from behind the doll's shoulder.

_Wait._

_Wait a second._

With a final scoff, the doll's hand was returned to dirt and the Stand that had begun all of this shot up from the branch it had taken a seat on.

"What? Impossible!"

The doll was pulled back by the second Avdol violently, to the point where it seemed it would break in half.

"I knew it! There _is_ another Avdol! My eyes weren't playing tricks on me! First the dirt doll Avdol and now this one!"

The Frenchman's thoughts went into an incoherent string of words poorly forced together as his traumatized mind attempted to comprehend the sight before him.

Flames appeared out of nowhere behind the second Avdol and a familiar creature took shape behind him, its hands spread wide and surrounded by fire. Without missing a beat, Magician's Red grabbed the head of the dirt doll and sent a surge of fire through it, instantly blowing it up.

"Impossible! He should be dead! He was stabbed by Hanged Man's user, J. Geil ." the "genie" screamed in shock.

Polnareff's blood had turned to sludge in his veins. "He should be dead!

The flame slowly returned to Avdol's hands, where the dark-skinned man grinned widely before shaking his index finger to snuff out the fire.

"M-Mohammad Avdol!" Polnareff cried out, slowly standing up.

With a sharp motion, the brunette pointed at him, then turned his hand into a fist and pointed at himself with his thumb, before bringing his hand down and pointing at the ground. " _Yes! I am!"_

"I-is it really you?"

Instead of a verbal response, maybe-Avdol moved his thumb up and down several times, while making a sound that mimicked that of a lighter going on and off. Ignoring the terrible pain on his thigh, Polnareff shook Cherie off his leg and forced himself to stand back up on his feet again.

_That… doesn't really answer anything…_

"Is this the real you?" Polnareff repeated, hoping for a clearer answer.

It was unbelievable. Could this be another trick? Was this cruel Stand giving him that small hope only to take it away again?

"Polnareff. You are still lacking in maturity. You keep going on and on about your sister, with no regard for the consequences."

_No, that is definitely him. But… how?_

"Impossible! You should be dead!" the silver Stand went off once more, unable to take in this turn of events. "I was told you were stabbed in the back, had your brains blown out by Hol Horse and died on the spot!"

Avdol, still in a slight pose, smirked. "Yes, I was shot. Right here on the forehead." he confirmed, tapping softly at his bandana. "However, for a brief moment after I was stabbed, my head was facing upwards. The bullet simply grazed me!" Closing one eye mockingly, Avdol lifted the white cloth to demonstrate a scar that looked like a something hot had branded his skin. "I guess you may call it a blessing in disguise. Hol Horse's bullet only managed to graze my skin and skull. Thus my brain was unharmed."

The enemy Stand was emanating a menacing aura, which seemed to make Avdol abandon his relaxed state. "Although I was still rendered unconscious. You are Cameo of the Judgment Card, are you not?"

Judgment was floating slowly backwards, trying to put some distance between himself and the recently-revived man.

"I will personally send you to Hell." This time, Avdol's eyes lost their teasing glint and became outright threatening. " _Hell 2 U!"_

_The third wish… and the third wish alone…_

He took in his dear friend, standing proud as ever and facing danger, once more saving him from utter defeat.

_He's real… It came true!_

Men weren't supposed to cry, but Polnareff felt no shame in letting his tears fall.

* * *

Polnareff was gawking at him with sheer joy in his face and while Avdol really did appreciate the sentiment, he'd appreciate his turning his attention to the battle before them even more. From what he knew of Judgment, it was an incredibly dangerous Stand that had to defeated as quickly as possible- for its ability to bring out one's deepest regrets and give them life was a frightening one. Nevertheless, the Egyptian wasn't in the habit of overestimating a cowardly opponent and, whatever else Cameo might be, a brave man he wasn't.

Not letting his cocky façade slip, Avdol offered his opponent a smirk. "Mohammed Avdol lives once more. This bad news… maybe you want to go and share them with Dio and the other Stand users? Right, Cameo?"

"This truly is surprising news." the Stand admitted, seemingly regaining its cool. "However, I can still make this news in my favor! "Cameo's Judgment managed to kill not only that idiot Polnareff but also Avdol, who turned out to be alive!" That will be my good news!" he screamed as he made a beeline for Avdol.

_Well, he is a confident one, I'll give him that._

Without missing a beat, the Egyptian brought out his Stand. "Magician's Red!"

With lightning speed, his trusted companion shot out and span, adding more force behind its kick and preparing for a direct hit, with flames strong enough to melt steel.

"Whoa there!"

With no apparent effort, Judgment caught Magician Red's leg and threw the feathered flame-wielder straight into a tree, in the opposite direction. Feeling the impact just as well as if he had been the one thrown around, Avdol found himself unable to remain standing upwards.

"Avdol!" Polnareff yelled horrified, but with his injuries he was unable to make it to where the Egyptian had fallen.

"He has quite a powerful Stand…"

"Be careful! He's not just powerful but fast too!" the Frenchman warned, barely managing to remain standing. Avdol wasn't sure how deep his wounds were, but it was probably for the best if he could get him back into the house and bandage him up as soon as possible.

"Avdol… is this the extend of your power? Then it looks like I will get to share my good news after all."

The dark-skinned man gritted his teeth at being mocked by the sleazy Stand, but didn't allow himself to lose his cool. If nothing else, it would be even more enjoyable when Cameo was defeated and left at their mercy. It was then, however, that the Egyptian noticed that Judgment had been steadily inching closer to Polnareff, or rather, the dirt doll of his sister.

"May fortune…" he yelled mockingly, before grabbing Cherie Polnareff's head and raising her into the air, "always be with you!"

And he threw the small woman's body with all his considerable strength towards her brother.

* * *

Polnareff watched in a trance as Cherie's body flew through the air towards Avdol, like some twisted projectile. His friend instinctively blocked with Magician's Red, breaking Cherie's new body to pieces from the torso down, along with both her arms, like a clay doll.

Putting all of his remaining strength in his legs, he jumped towards her falling form. Once he caught her in his arms, he angled his body to fall on his back, taking the full force of the impact and shielding her from further harm.

He was holding her tight, to protect her from any further harm and yet she was not breathing. She was cold as a corpse and had no heartbeat and yet he felt her lift her upper body to stare down at him with her rotten eye.

"Big brother…"

The fury that erupted from within took even him completely by surprise.

_This is not Cherie._

It was an almost comically shocking realization.

"No. No. My Cherie…"

_That's right. Cherie is- Cherie has been-_

Cherie- no, the _dirt doll_ nuzzled his neck in a gesture that was probably meant to be loving, but the only thing it did was further fuel his anger.

"Cherie… is dead…"

Saying it out loud, even with her clone so close to him felt as much admittance as catharsis.

Cherie was gone.

He was never again going to hear her laugh, or cry, or watch her achieve any of her dreams and it would never truly stop hurting, but it was over. She was now in peace.

He had to finally make his own.

"You're… just…" Rising from the ground, the light weight of the doll on him felt like nothing as new-found strength flooded him. "You're just a dirt doll!"

Summoning Silver Chariot's rapier, he pushed away the broken body and stabbed it right through the heart.

It felt as if time had stopped for the few seconds that he stared into the doll's surprised eyes. But then she gave him a bright smile, a _relieved_ smile.

"Big Brother…" she muttered one last time and he couldn't detect a single hint of malice in her voice. Almost as if…

_Almost as if she is saying goodbye._

The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, but as her skin cracked and she broke down to nothing but dust in his hands, he felt a weight leaving his shoulders.

"Polnareff." Avdol's voice behind him was a sudden jolt that brought him back to reality. "I apologize. I was wrong to say you had not matured."

"No, you were right. I should be apologizing to you."

The Egyptian placed his hand comfortingly on his shoulder, but the moment didn't last long.

With a high-pitched battle cry, Judgment jumped from behind the tall plants, hands outstretched. In the nick of time, the two men summoned their Stands, only for them to just barely absorb the full force of the hit and be thrown backwards in a small opening. The Frenchman felt his breath stop for a few moments as pain consumed him. As the adrenaline was wearing off, the pain of his injuries had come back full force, reminding him that it had been only a few minutes since he had been the chew toy of the two dirt dolls. The silver Stand laughed down at them.

"This battle has been decided!" Resuming its sitting pose, Judgment held up its three fingers. "Avdol! Tell me your three wishes! I will grant them for you… This time before you die for real! Now go ahead and try! You have three wishes."

"Asshole! He's fucking with us! Avdol, ignore him! You don't need to make any wishes!" But the dark-skinned man was staring at the silver Stand contemplatively, something that disquieted Polnareff to no end. "Avdol, are you listening to me?"

"No." Seemingly unaffected by their fall, Avdol stood up gracefully, a playful smirk on his lips. "Make it four." he demanded and, as if to emphasize his point, the Egyptian help up four fingers.

"Huh?"

_Is he deaf? Is he blind? Does he want to get the same thing I did?_

Cameo's Stand looked equally aggravated by Avdol's choice, as it abandoned its relaxed pose. "What?"

"I mean wishes! Wishes! I wish to have four wishes instead of three!" he yelled, shaking his outstretched arm twice and mimicking the sound of a lighter once more.

"You cannot be serious…"

"Will you deny my wish Cameo?" Avdol challenged. "This was _your_ offer! I will make you keep your promise!" he pointed at the Stand angrily, his gaze intense.

So fast that the human eye could barely keep up with the movement, Magician's Red appeared from behind Avdol and charged at Judgment.

The enemy Stand scoffed. "Do you still insist upon this futile contest of power?" Without paying him any mind, Magician's Red moved to kick Cameo's Stand with all of its power, but he simply laughed. "What a weak kick!" he laughed as he prepared to catch it once more, repeating their earlier skirmish, only this time Magician Red's leg let out a sudden burst of fire upon contact with its hand, blinding Judgment and leaving it open for an attack.

"W-what?" it screamed in pain. Polnareff took in the sight of its wrist armor shattering along with part of its head, his face a mask of disbelief.

"He did it! Amazing!"

With his arms stretched wide and facing upwards, Avdol made a show of calling back his Stand, shaking his right index finger lightly as he snuffed out Magician Red's flames. Repeating the sound of a lighter going on and off a couple more times, the Egyptian grinned at Judgment.

"My first wish was to hear you holler in pain." he explained, bringing four fingers in front of his face and lowering one. "It came true."

"Impossible! You are strong! Way stronger than before!"

Avdol brought his left hand to his back, lightly touching the place where the Hanged Man had stabbed him. "The wound I received from J. Geil has not fully healed yet. I was guarding it earlier and thus I couldn't fight at full strength."

"Wha-" the enemy Stand stuttered, a few more pieces of armor falling off its skull.

"It was three days ago in India that I was finally able to stand up. My trip here by plane was quite comfortable."

"Now that's what I'm talking about Avdol!" Polnareff cut in happily.

The dark-skinned man nodded at him, before his attention turned back to the enemy. "Now, for my second wish…" he yelled, a rope of flames between Magician Red's arms creating a noose around Judgment and choking him, fumes coming from beneath the broken helmet, its eyes erupting in flames as they broke, "is to have you scream in terror! And my third wish!"

Using the broken Stand as leverage, Magician's Red jumped backwards, putting a bit of distance between the two and then surged towards Judgment once more, delivering a powerful, fiery kick on its back.

"Is for you to sob with regret!"

Screaming in pain, the Stand was thrown towards the sky, only to suddenly curl in itself and, in a burst of colourful smoke, disappear.

The Frenchman, who had been a spectator of the fight up to that point, gritted his teeth. "Th-that asshole! He's running away! Wait!"

But of course Cameo had no such intention, leaving Polnareff tightening his fist and yelling curses at their long-gone opponent. He made to run towards the general direction the Stand had disappeared at, only for Avdol's voice to stop him in his tracks.

"Quiet yourself, Polnareff." The white-haired man approached his friend, who kneeled on the ground and spoke to him in a low voice. "To have such speed and power… It means that this Stand's users is somewhere close, due to the rules governing Stands."

Making a hand gesture that told him to go to the opposite direction the Egyptian himself would take, Polnareff nodded in understanding and did as he was told.

The two followed the small paths amidst the strange plants as quietly as possible, eventually ending up in a small clearing with a very conspicuous bamboo branch poking out of the ground. The Frenchman looked at it in slight disbelief- not even he could come up with a hiding place with such an obvious give-away. Was this really the Stand user that had almost defeated him?

Avdol once more gestured for him to remain quiet, as he pulled a leave away from its plant and placed it on the branch, effectively sealing its opening. For a few seconds nothing happened, then a sudden flow of air from beneath the bamboo forced it away.

Polnareff felt a grin stretch across his face, despite the fact that he was furious.

_This is gonna be good._

And it was.

* * *

"Brat! What's taking you so long?"

"I-I'll be right there Jotaro-san!" Illya yelled back, quickly drying off her hair as best as she could with a towel. The albino had already been in the shower when Mr. Joestar first knocked to see if she was going to take long.

That had been half an hour ago.

She still had no idea where Ruby was, but she knew that the men outside had no idea what her partner had set off to do, based on the lack of ruckus- not that she was any more enlightened than they were. She just hoped that, whatever repercussions arose from this, it would be only Ruby that would suffer them.

Putting on a knee- length plaid, pink and black skirt with two leather buckles on one side and a purple spaghetti-strap blouse, she then quickly tied her shoe-laces. Taking in herself in the mirror, she hastily tied her mostly wet hair in a side ponytail with the hair band Polnareff-san had bought for her, completing the look. It felt more like something Kuro would wear, since Illya herself usually preferred lighter colours, but clothes should be her last concern right now.

Exiting the bathroom, she found Kakyoin-san, Jotaro-san and Mr. Joestar waiting in the small living room, which was made to look even smaller with the three of the large men gathered in it.

Immediately she picked up the tension in the air, as Hierophant Green was once more tied to her ankle. Everyone seemed to be glaring at her for some reason and as things stood, she could only think of one reason.

_What did Ruby do now!_

Before she could open her mouth to ask however, she saw a pair of giant blue hands coming her way from behind Jotaro-san, the teen's eyes obscured by his cap. In an instant, Illya found herself hanging upside down and a second pair of hands patting down her skull.

_Eh?_

As she came face to face with Kujo Jotaro in the weirdest manner as of yet, Illya took in his cold blue eyes as he carefully felt around her head with his hands, paying special attention to the hairline and back of her neck.

"What is going on?!" Illya screamed at the top of her lungs as she wiggled around, keeping her skirt in place with one hand. "Put me down!"

"Good grief… Sorry about that brat. I needed to check something. "

As she was placed back on the floor gently, the albino jumped towards the furthest corner of the room, trying to put some distance between herself and the indiscreet brute. With big, fat tears gathering around her eyes, she pointed accusingly at her tormentor. "What was that for!" From her left she heard a choking sound, only to turn to find out both Kakyoin-san and Mr. Joestar standing rigid with wide eyes, trying to stifle their laughter in their hands. "And you! That wasn't funny at all!"

But no one seemed to be answering her, so she just huffed in annoyance and, regaining her dignity, marched to the kitchen. Since everyone was being so mean to her, she reasoned with herself, she might as well eat them out of house and home. Opening the fridge with a sharp motion, she prepared to pull out whatever fell first into her hands.

Instead, she found a guilty-looking Ruby cowering in a corner, a male boxer with small cherry prints over the top of her ring.

Taking in the sight for a few seconds, she shut the door closed with all of her strength and walked back to the living room.

"Illya-chan? Everything alight?" the redhead asked her, giving her a strange look.

"Yeah, I am just not hungry." she replied, determined to never think of the most recent incident ever again.

"Well then! Better go pack your things Illya! We are gonna go wait for Polnareff and Avdol outside!"

Nodding once, the albino headed towards the room she had rested in, shoving her new clothes into the backpack she had been given earlier. As she did so, she felt something in the pocket of the jacket she was wearing when she first arrived in this bizarre world.

She pulled out the four Class Cards and stared at them for a bit.

Saber.

Assassin.

And the Riders.

Holding them close to her chest, she quickly made her decision and pulled the jacket on, once more hiding the Cards in the chest pocket and leaving it unbuttoned. She had no idea what she might encounter, so it was better to keep them somewhere on her person, in case of emergency.

"Are you done brat?" a monotone voice demanded from behind her and she turned to see Jotaro-san's head poking from the door.

"Yeah, I'll be right there!"

Shoving everything else inside the denim bag, she slanged it over her shoulder and walked out of the house, where everyone was waiting. They headed to the beach in silence, before finally stopping a few feet before the sea line.

"Polnareff and Avdol are still not here then." It was more of a statement than a question, but no one responded to Joseph's words. "We will wait for a while longer, but if they don't show up in a couple of hours we will have to lea-"

"Hey guys! You won't believe it!"

The sudden appearance of the white-haired man made everyone jump in surprise at the entrance. _How could someone so huge make no sound at all?!_ Illya took in the sight of the battered man, covered in deep wounds but seemingly unnoticed by him, if the giant grin that decorated his face was anything to go by.

"Guess who I just found!"

"Polnareff, you had us worried." Mr. Joestar scolded him as they caught their breaths.

"When did you get those wounds?" Kakyoin-san asked concerned, pointing at a particularly deep claw-like mark on his chest.

"You got attacked?" Jotaro-san demanded in turn.

"Polnareff-san! Are you alright?" she ran up to him worriedly, staring at the bloody injuries and torn clothes.

"Who the hell cares about my wounds!" he yelled excitedly, prompting a number of raised eyebrows from everyone present, shoving his face into Kakyoin-san's. _Has he lost it from the blood loss?_ "Listen! Don't let this shock you Jotaro! And don't pass out when you hear this Kakyoin! Who do you think I found Mr. Joestar?" The Frenchman was practically jumping around with his arms flailing everywhere, pointing randomly. "Behold and rejoice!" Before Illya's freaked out stare, Polnareff-san _twirled_ and made a grandiose gesture towards the tall, prickly weeds, as if he was a circus manager presenting the show's biggest attraction. "The man himself, Avdol, is alive!"

The albino blinked several times, confused.

"Well, time to go." Mr. Joestar announced as he bent and picked up his suitcase, seemingly uninterested in whatever had excited Polnareff-san so much. _So I am not the only one who doesn't know what's going on?_

"Everyone, I shall help carry the luggage." Avdol-san offered, ruffling Illya's hair softly as he passed her by. Shrugging, the albino greeted the dark-skinned man and followed along.

"Yo, Avdol."

"It's been a while. Doing well?"

"Avdol, is the wound on your back doing okay?"

"Yes, I am well." he responded. "Perhaps a bit stiff."

"Hey!" the Frenchman yelled from behind.

"Has it really been two weeks? Good thing we are all still okay." Illya could see the impish grin over Jotaro-san's face. _What's so funny?_

"Jotaro, do you still not swelter wearing that jacket?"

"Damnit, I said wait minute you assholes!"

The enraged cry from behind them gave everyone a pause, turning to look at Polnareff. He was pointing at them from behind. In a way, Illya was reminded of Ms. Taiga when someone dared call her by her nickname in front of her.

"Hey, what's the meaning of this? A dead man came back to life! What the hell? What's with the casual conversation?"

_Eh? Dead man?_ Illya turned to look at Avdol-san, who winked at her.

"Oh, Polnareff, I'm sorry." Mr. Joestar finally addressed him, his expression redefining disinterest. "When I said I buried Avdol in India… that was a lie."

The albino watched in mild shock as the Frenchman physically jumped five feet off the ground. The image of her homeroom teacher intensified. "W-w-whaaaat?"

"After my head was injured in India, Mr. Joestar and Jotaro tended to my wounds." The Egyptian explained, to which Polnareff-san gritted his teeth to the point Illya feared they might break.

"You assholes knew he was alive and never told me? And you too Kakyoin?"

"I was only told the day after." the redheaded student admitted seriously. "However, I couldn't let the enemy know. And since you're such a loudmouth… I mean, since you, uh, can't lie," he quickly rectified, "I suggested we don't tell you up until now."

Illya tried to choke back her laughter at the sight of the tall man practically falling over like he was in some old anime.

"If you had fucked up and spilled the beans, Avdol wouldn't have been able to recover in peace." Jotaro-san added his own two cents.

"We were planning to tell you as soon as it was safe," Kakyoin-san added, "but you ran into him first."

_Why does everyone look so amused…?_

Still trying to recover, Polnareff-san turned back to Avdol. "Oh right, Avdol! Your dad's on the island! We gotta tell him you're here!" he yelled, beginning to run towards the direction of the house…

"That was simply me in disguise."

…And promptly falling flat on his face. Illya couldn't contain herself anymore and doubled over, laughing her heart out at the tearful face of the French on the sand. Everyone followed suit and even Polnareff-san joined in after a few seconds.

"I am sorry Polnareff." Mr. Joestar apologized once he gathered his bearings once more. "But I had good reason to ask Avdol to disguise himself like that. You see, except helping with his recovery, I needed Avdol to do some shopping for me as well."

"Shopping?"

"It was a very conspicuous purchase." Avdol admitted. "I disguised myself as a wealthy Arab to purchase it."

"All right everyone! It's time to go!" Mr. Joestar yelled excitedly, pushing Polnareff-san in front of him. "Come on, cheer up already! It's almost there!"

Illya stared at the direction Mr. Joestar was pointing at, only to be met with more ocean… until something began rising from beneath the sea surface.

The albino had seen quite a number of weird things in the past few months.

But her jaw still dropped as the red-and-yellow monstrosity took shape before her. _This… is… Just how much money does this man have!_

"That's right! We're heading to Egypt in this bad boy!"

"N-No way! You seriously bought this?" she yelled shocked, in perfect sync with Polnareff-san.

The old man grinned arrogantly. "Come now! This is nothing for Joseph Joestar, the biggest real estate company owner in America! Now get in, all of you!"

Illya was still in shock from the reveal, gawking at the _submarine_ that had just surfaced from beneath the waves. _Is this man for real?!_

"Illya-san!"

She had barely enough time to turn around and catch the tiny gold and pink missile that threw itself at her chest at terminal velocity. Barely keeping her balance, she glared at the Mystic Code in her arms. "Watch it!"

"I have done it Illya-san! I have achieved the perfect pyramid!"

Something in the ecstatic tone of Ruby's voice sent Illya's mind on hyper alert. _I must not ask!_

But she didn't need to. Seemingly not seeing the rest of the group, Ruby floated to eye level with Illya and twirled several times, all the while repeating her "I have done it" chant.

"It was tough Illya-san, since everyone qualified so well! Especially Jotaro and Kakyoin-san were a pain, but I wouldn't be called the Love Crusader if I couldn't deal effectively with such trivialities!"

"No one calls you that!"

"It is amazing Illya-san! We have broken the curse that plagues the Magical Girl genre! We have achieved a deed greater than saving any world, or even achieving True Magic!"

"Uh…"

"Yes indeed! Oh, it is beautiful! Kakyoin-san, the Handsome and Dependable Senpai that can melt any girl's heart with his gentleness! Jotaro-san, the boorish but attractive delinquent, his coldness only enhancing his Bad Boy image! We even have the Lovable Idiot Polnareff for the European dub!"

Illya felt the atmosphere around her become more menacing with each word that came out of Ruby's mouth, but the Mystic Code seemed to be in her own little world. "Uh… Ruby…"

"And of course!" her partner cut in, unaffected by everything, hearing nothing. Her aura turned powerful and radiant with the will of a true ship generator, her strength making Illya's knees buckle. _This is too ridiculous! What's with this self-satisfied expression you good for nothing wand!_ "Fufufu! And of course…" she repeated in a lower voice, the menacing glint she excluded only enhancing the effect, "we have Mr. Joestar and Mr. Avdol for the 18+ spin-off!"

_Th-th-the WHAT?_

No one spoke for a while. Ruby seemed to be expecting something for her great discovery, but Illya was about to collapse from the sheer menace that seemed to be coming off of her companions. _Please, do not associate me with this monster!_

"You…" she heard Jotaro-san's voice from behind her after what felt like years, low and filled with rage to the point that it felt as if she was being physically attacked. "No one will ever say that Kujo Jotaro is a nice guy…" he said, taking one menacing step towards Ruby.

"Oh dear~"

"But you… you are an evil I cannot abide!" he screamed, one hand in his pocket and the other pointing accusingly at Ruby, purple aura emanating from behind him, slowly taking the shape of his Stand, Star Platinum.

"Indeed." Kakyoin-san took a step forward as well, standing by Jotaro-san's side. He stood very still and straight, one hand stretched out at the elbow, while he held two fingers in front of his face.

"Let's do this! Use the edge of the ring-just like sumo!" they yelled in unison, Hierophant Green instantly appearing behind Ruby as Star Platinum unleashed a barrage of ORAs that seemed to last for quite some time. When the two were done, Ruby was lying almost helplessly in the sand.

"Oh my~"

Illya found herself unable to sympathize with her obnoxious contract-holder.

"It looks like… you haven't done enough damage… Jotaro." Avdol-san said from behind her, standing in front of Ruby, legs spread apart, one thumb pointing upwards, while his other hand pointed to the ground.

"I think you're right Avdol…" Polnareff-san too approached Avdol-san, bringing a hand over his head while he held the other in front of him, legs in front of each other. "I believe we should fix that."

"Flame Rapier!" the screamed together, Magician's Red creating a bind of fire while it lit up Silver Chariot's rapier. The bird-like Stand held Ruby in place with its fiery rope, while the one clad in medieval-like armor stabbed the Mystic Code repeatedly, creating small explosions each time it connected. By the end of it, Ruby looked a lot worse for wear than she had after Jotaro and Kakyoin-san were done with her, if that was even possible.

But even that didn't seem to be enough. As her partner tried to fly away from the furious men, she heard Joseph Joestar yell the name of his own Stand, Hermit Purple and try to ensnare the escaping monster. To the albino's surprise though, he missed.

" _Oh no!"_

"Fufufu! You bunch of oafs can never hope to extinguish the light of proper male leads!" Ruby yelled in triumph as she made a beeline for Mr. Joestar.

"Joestar-san!"

But instead of dodging, the old man simply smirked.

"And next you're going to say "And so perish all of True Love's enemies"!"

"And so perish all of True Love- _Whaaaat!"_

Centimeters away, the Mystic Code was forced into a halt as the thorny, purple vine that was wrapped around her star's legs and twisted around a small tree, prevented her from moving any further.

"You despicable old geezer! That's cheating!"

"Heh! You are wrong!"

"Indeed." agreed Jotaro-san, who was now standing next to Mr. Joestar.

"It's not cheating if the secret doesn't get out!" they cried in unison, as the once more restrained Ruby got the pummeling of her life. Not long after Star Platinum began his barrage of punches, an electricity-like energy passed through Hermit Purple, making Ruby's cries of pain go even higher- and soon after _that,_ the others seemed eager to join in for a final beating.

"Emerald Splash!"

"Crossfire Hurricane!"

"Million Spit!"

Illya would be lying if she said she wasn't slightly enjoying this.

It was over in seconds. When everyone stopped and dusted themselves off, Ruby was not even conscious, or at least as close to unconscious as someone like her could be. Illya picked her partner up gently, but even that elicited a groan from her.

"Brat. Are you alright?"

"Huh?"

She turned around only to come thigh-to-face with Jotaro-san.

"Are you in pain or anything?"

"Uh, no." she answered back honestly. "Why would I be?"

"…It's nothing." he said and began walking away.

Illya tilted her head to the side in confusion, before her mind recalled his earlier words. _No one will ever say that Kujo Jotaro is a nice guy… But you… you are an evil I cannot abide!_

She wasn't certain if she should be flattered or not by the way everyone had extracted her revenge for her, since she really wasn't all that fond of this much violence, but all the same… it was weirdly touching.

_Wait… Kujo Jotaro… Kujo…_

Bringing her hand in front of her face, Illya let out a giggle.

"Hm? What's so funny?" Jotaro-san halted and turned around to face her, giving her a curious look.

"Your name." she replied with another giggle. "Kujo Jotaro."

"What about it?"

"Jojo. If you take the last "jo" from "Kujo" and the first "jo" from "Jotaro", you have JoJo!" she exclaimed excitedly, smiling wide.

Jotaro-san blinked a few times before pulling the visor of his cap over his eyes. "Gimme a break… Move it brat."

"Right!"

With a last giggle, Illya quickly ran up to the taller teen.

_Egypt… I wonder… what is it that they are trying to find there?_

As the door of the submarine closed behind her, she couldn't help but feel a slight sense of foreboding for what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would apologize for the length, but let's face it, no one would really be up for two or three more chapters of nothing. This way, we can finally give you the good stuff. ;)
> 
> Finally, to all of you who have favorited, followed and especially reviewed this story, we thank you for your support! Expect a lot more insanity to take place- more than anything you could ever anticipate! We wish you a Merry Christmas you bunch of wonderful people! :D

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: And that just about concludes the first part of the prologue! Hope you enjoyed it! :D


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